An “old” song by this title has come to mind several times over the past year because of the diagnosis of terminal brain cancer just over a year ago in Nathan, the son of a close friend. (My friend has given me permission to use Nathan’s name.) In fact, Nathan had three brain tumors, so the prognosis was clearly not good, regardless of what treatments were or were not done. Nathan quickly decided that he did not want to have surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy but would instead simply live out his remaining days. He did just that, at home, under the loving care of his father, his sister, and hospice care. While the doctors had estimated three more months, Nathan lived, as his dad said, “a year and a day” after the diagnosis. My wife and I attended his funeral earlier this week, and throughout the service, 1 Thessalonians 4:13 came to mind: “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” Nathan was a believer, so he is now home free, in the presence of the Lord. His father feels devastated right now, understandably, even moreso because Nathan was only 42. There is good reason that people say, “A parent is not supposed to outlive their child.” I know he will continue to grieve; I need to continue to be a listening ear, and I will do so even as I remind him that Nathan is home free. My friend is one of the strongest believers I know, and I know that the Lord will continue to comfort him.
A couple of months ago, this same friend told me that another close friend of his, also a believer, was diagnosed with a tumor very similar to the one(s) that Nathan had. In contrast to Nathan, he chose to have surgery, but since then, he has experienced partial paralysis on one side of his body. He even told my friend, “I think I made a big mistake.”
On the other hand, at Nathan’s funeral, I talked with another friend, also a believer, who I hadn’t seen for a few years. He told me that he had had cancer (not brain cancer), which was now in remission. I am thankful that the Lord has healed him! I know other people like him as well, of various ages.
At the outset, I referred to an old song called “Home Free.” Depending on your age, you may be familiar with this song from 1990 by Wayne Watson. Following are the lyrics, and here is a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVtavUSlsgg
I’m trying hard not to think you unkind
But Heavenly Father
If You know my heart
Surely You can read my mind
Good people underneath a sea of grief
Some get up and walk away
Some will find ultimate relief
Home free, eventually
At the ultimate healing
We will be home free
Home free, oh I’ve got a feeling
At the ultimate healing
We will be home free
Out in the corridors, we pray for life
A mother for her baby
A husband for his wife
Oh, sometimes the good die young
It’s sad but true
And while we pray for one more heartbeat
The real comfort is with You
You know pain has little mercy
And suffering’s no respecter of age
Of race or position
I know every prayer gets answered
But the hardest one to pray is slow to come
Oh Lord! Not mine! But your will be done
Oh, let it be
(Home free, eventually)
Gonna go on home
(At the ultimate healing, we will be home free)….
Wayne sings in the first verse, “Some get up and walk away; some will find ultimate relief.” For my friend, perhaps the most striking lyrics are these, in the second: “Oh, sometimes the good die young, it’s sad but true; and while we pray for one more heartbeat, the real comfort is with you.” And here is the heart of the matter: “I know every prayer gets answered, but the hardest one to pray is slow to come; oh Lord, not mine, but Your will be done.”
In the wake of a devastating diagnosis, I think the best we can do, along with providing practical help, is to express love through sadness and to respect these different decisions people make. My wife and I have already talked through similar issues, including end-of-life ones; each situation is unique, but for the most part, our decisions would parallel Nathan’s. On the other hand, another recent death, that of my brother-in-law, was sudden, so we never know what will happen, or when. However, the Lord does, and when my time comes, however it comes, I am looking forward to being home free, with Him.
If you are reading this and you do not yet know the Lord, my prayer is that you will put your trust in Him, regardless of your health and age. He will give you joy and an inner peace that you probably never imagined was possible. And at the ultimate healing, you will be home free.