What Is Your Greatest Fear?

Since tomorrow is Halloween, a strange holiday which revolves around fear, I thought this would be a good time to write about a survey I came across a few months ago. Maria Stenvinkel, co-founder of Fearless Minds, gives us a list of the greatest fears of 65 people from 18 different countries. What distinguishes this list from others is that the responses are very personal and thoughtful. For example, no one responded with “climate change” or “terrorism,” which might surprise some of our cultural elites. Neither did anyone respond with a phobia of any kind, which surprised me somewhat. If you’re interested in the full list, click here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-your-greatest-fear-life-65-brave-answers-from-18-stenvinkel/ (I’m not sure if you need a linkedin account to access it.)

As I analyzed the list, I put the fears into categories. (If you do this yourself, your numbers and the names of your categories may differ somewhat from mine.) The two largest categories, tied for 11 responses each, were Fear of Being Alone/Lonely/No Intimacy and Failure/Failing/Not Being Good Enough. In regard to the first category, Saray (Spain) responded, “My deepest fear is being alone without family or friends. I can’t understand how people can love me.” Katie (London) wrote, “Lack of intimacy with life and people. And lack of effective and valuable contribution to society.” (This is actually two different fears, but Katie wrote “lack of intimacy” first.)

In regard to the other top category, Fear of Failure, Kate (Australia) responded, “Being a failure and disappointment…to both others and myself.” Sara (USA) wrote simply, “My biggest fear is not being good enough.”

Interestingly, one category that had more responses than I expected (5) was Fear of No Purpose/Missing out on Purpose. Danielle (USA) developed her thoughts in some detail: “My greatest fear would be missing out on my purpose here on earth. Whether it’s because I wasn’t motivated enough to pursue dreams, or distracted with life in general, I know I have a purpose that I am not yet serving.” Luciana (Portugal) responded, “To go through life without leaving a positive mark.”

One category that had fewer responses than I expected was Fear of Death (4), whether of self or others. However, of the seven comments on the article, two of them also said fear of death. Lena (Sweden) wrote, “Death, that I or someone in my family will die (to lose control over the most important thing we have–-life).” Sometimes there is an overlap between categories; Anne (India) responded, “My greatest fear is that I will die alone.”

One category that I suppose some people would expect to see more of was Fear of Not Having Enough Money/Finances (3). Laura (Italy) wrote, “My greatest fear is that I won’t have enough money to support myself (and retire eventually).”

As I read through the responses, I had to ask myself, “What is my greatest fear?” It used to be fear of stinging insects, which is much less now. Then it was colon cancer (although no one in my family has ever had cancer of any kind). However, I have a colonoscopy every few years, including this year, and I’m “clear.” One thing I discovered over the past year in two different national parks (Yosemite and Glacier) is that I have some vertigo that I didn’t use to have. When I was driving on mountain roads that had a very steep drop-off on one side, my hands got clammy; as long as I just focused on the road, I was OK.

Even though there were only four “fear of death” responses in Stenvinkel’s survey, I want to focus on this fear because although it is often not voiced, I believe that it drives many decisions, including those related to prolonging life as long as possible. There is an elderly brother in my church who I have enjoyed getting to know over the past year. He told my wife and me a story about his dad, who was kidnapped several decades ago and initially thrown in the trunk; a bit later, he was taken out of the trunk and forced to drive the vehicle. (A very stupid decision by the kidnapper, if you ask me.) As the kidnapper gave directions, the driver/kidnappee first sped up and started to drive a bit erratically. The kidnapper, of course, was scared and shouted threats, which the driver ignored. Eventually, he came to a place in the road with a ditch, so he slowed down, opened the car door, and jumped out. It was dark, and he was able to run away; the kidnapper was occupied with the still-moving car!

I absolutely love this story! Before hearing it, I had thought more than once about what I would do in that situation. (Yeah, I know, my mind goes to strange places sometimes.) I’m not sure yet about jumping out of the vehicle, but I would most definitely not follow the kidnapper’s directions. I would definitely drive erratically and probably deliberately crash into something (at a low speed), or at least drive off the road. I don’t have a death wish, but I figure that whatever would happen to me couldn’t be worse than what the kidnapper might do. The kidnapper, of course, assumes that the kidnappee will value his or her survival above all else.

There are two verses I love in Hebrews 2 (verses 14-15) that apply to the fear of death: “Since the children have flesh and blood, he [Jesus] too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” Notice especially that last part, verse 15: “and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” For those of us who know the Lord, we need have no fear of death.

There is a contemporary Christian song by Shane & Shane that I love called “You’ve Already Won.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJWc4rP-D8c I especially love the lyrics in this part of the song:

I know how the story ends
We will be with You again
You’re my Savior my defense
No more fear in life or death
I know how this story ends

As usual, I’m getting teary while I’m listening to it. Here’s a link to another closely-related song that I love: “Battle Belongs” by Phil Wickham: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=johgSkNj3-A

Maybe you have some degree of fear about the election next week; if so, you might be interested in a post I wrote four years ago the morning after that presidential election: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2020/11/04/god-is-in-control/

If you are reading this and you’re not a Christian, you can live without fear if you put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ. This is not to say that you will never be afraid, but that He will enable you to overcome your fears.

Nineveh and the U.S., 150 Years Later

Early this year, my church finished our 3-year Bible-reading plan. One book in particular that struck me was Nahum, who was a prophet in Old Testament Israel. The entire book is focused on Nineveh. If you’re familiar with the Bible, you probably remember that there is another book focused on Nineveh: Jonah. Over the years, I’ve heard many sermons based on the book of Jonah, but I’ve never heard one based on Nahum.

A little historical background: Nineveh was the capital of the ancient Assyrian empire.  It existed about 750 years; its most powerful time was from about 900-612 B.C., when it suddenly came to an end.  The Assyrians were enemies of God’s people, and in 722 B.C., the Assyrians took the northern ten tribes of Israel into captivity.

Here’s a quick review of the book of Jonah.  Sometime around 760 B.C., the Lord commanded His prophet Jonah to go to Nineveh and warn the people there that their great city was going to be overthrown. Jonah hates the Assyrians, so instead of obeying, he runs away and is swallowed by a “great fish” (probably a whale). Then Jonah obeys the Lord; he goes to Nineveh and tells the people that the city will be overthrown in 40 days. Much to Jonah’s chagrin, the Ninevites repent, and Chapter 3:10 says, “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.”

Approximately 150 years later (depending on your sources), the prophet Nahum preaches a message of God’s judgment and the destruction that was soon going to come against the Assyrian empire.  There are no verses in Nahum that exhort the Ninevites to repent; instead, the Lord’s judgment will surely come on them, and soon.  Here is what Chapter 1 verse 2 and the first part of verse 3 say:  “The Lord is a jealous and avenging God; the Lord takes vengeance and is filled with wrath.  The Lord takes vengeance on his foes and maintains his wrath against his enemies.  The Lord is slow to anger and great in power; the Lord will not leave the guilty unpunished.”  Notice that “the Lord is slow to anger.”  (!)  He had been patient with Nineveh, and 150 years earlier, when the Ninevites repented, He had compassion and forgave them.  However, the Lord’s patience has come to an end, as we read in the final verse of the book, Chapter 3:19:  “Nothing can heal your wound; your injury is fatal.  Everyone who hears the news about you claps his hands at your fall, for who has not felt your endless cruelty?”  This is the kind of message that Jonah had wanted to preach, but Nineveh’s time of judgment had not yet come.  Now, 150 years later, it has. The Assyrian empire came to an end at the hands of the Babylonian empire and its allies in 612 B.C.  Depending on how you define the word “generation,” that’s 8-10 generations!  A lot can change in a country in 150 years.  In fact, in our fast-changing contemporary world, a lot can change in even a single generation, including morally and spiritually.

As I studied the history of Nineveh, specifically as revealed in the books of Jonah and Nahum, I couldn’t help thinking about the United States of the present compared with 150 years ago.  Actually, if you go back 161 years ago, to 1863, that is the year Abraham Lincoln declared freedom for slaves in the Emancipation Proclamation.  Two years after that, in 1865, the American civil war ended, which also effectively ended the scourge of slavery in our country.  It took time, of course, for it to be completely eradicated, but that was a watershed moment in American history.  That strikes me as a profound example of our repentance as a nation. 

Jumping ahead into the 1870s, we have a time when the American West was still being settled; this was a time of cowboys, gunslingers, outlaws, and Indians (Native Americans).  If you have ever watched old western movies, or TV series like Gunsmoke, you probably have some idea of what that era was like.  On the one hand, it was a time when violence and death could come very suddenly; on the other hand, even outlaws would sometimes make references to the “Good Book”—meaning the Bible—and to specific verses in it, showing that they had at least some knowledge, if not understanding, of Scripture.  One characteristic of that time was that girls and women on the Western frontier were generally much fewer than men.  This is understandable because of the violence as well as the living conditions compared with the East.  As such, women were generally to be respected and protected, although less so if they worked in a saloon. 

Jumping way ahead 100 years, we come to 1970, when Alvin Toffler wrote Future Shock; his thesis was that when there is too much change in too short a period of time, it has negative psychological and societal effects. And since then, the pace of change has accelerated. One obvious example is the iPhone; there have been 24 “generations” of it since the first one in 2007; that’s more than one a year!

Regarding the Old West 150 years ago, even outlaws back then had some basic knowledge, if not understanding, of the Bible.  These days, even some American churchgoers don’t read the Bible, and when Christians make references to Scripture, non-Christians often have no idea what we’re talking about.  I also mentioned earlier the general treatment of women in the Old West, which was they were to be respected and protected.  In contemporary American society, there are so many men who just want to take advantage of women.  Speaking of women:  some of our political leaders can’t even define the word “woman.”  People in the Old West had no trouble with that!  We also find more and more confusion in contemporary society about sexuality; there are an increasing number of people, including children, who think they might be the opposite gender.  What does the Bible say about this?  If we go back to the very first chapter of the Bible, we read in Genesis 1:27:  “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created him.”  And in Psalm 139:13, we read, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”  When people think they might “be” the opposite sex and even have surgery to try to make it so, whether they realize it or not, they are saying to God, “You made a mistake when you made me.”  The truth is that God never makes a mistake.  While we who are Christians want to be understanding and compassionate to those who are confused about their sexual identity, we also need to communicate the truth of God’s Word about it. 

Earlier, we looked at Nineveh and how even though there was a time when the Ninevites repented and the Lord spared them, there came a time when He said, “Enough!”  Their violence was a prime reason; another reason was their idol worship.  In the second part of Nahum 1:14, we read, “I will destroy the carved images and cast idols that are in the temple of your gods.  I will prepare your grave, for you are vile.”  In contemporary America, most people don’t have physical idols like that, but most have other idols; celebrities, position/status, and money come to mind.  How about violence?  You have probably seen videos of random attacks on people in our society over the past several years; and in the past four months, two assassination attempts have been made on a former president who is also running for president!  Many historians have said that the Roman empire’s downfall came at least partly from within because of its wanton lust for violence and deviant sexuality.

Some Christian leaders have said that the U.S. is living under God’s judgment.  This is based on Romans 1, where the Lord tells us that He sometimes just lets people go the destructive way they want to go.  This may be, but when the Israelites were in Egyptian captivity during the ten plagues, from Exodus Chapters 7-12 we know that in the case of at least half of the plagues (flies, livestock, hail, darkness, and the firstborn), the Lord brought them only on the Egyptians, not on the Israelites. Regardless of what happens, the Lord will never abandon His people.  God will always be with His people, who are distinct from the country as a whole. 

All is not doom and gloom!  I’ll just focus here on my city. I was encouraged recently to hear that six out of our seven high schools have groups of students who regularly get together for prayer; this is an organic movement organized and led by the students.  At my church, we have gone from a monthly prayer meeting to weekly.  2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Notice especially the word “humble” and the phrase “turn from their wicked ways.” In other words, the key is repentance.

More than one Christian song says, “I may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.”  I don’t know what God’s plans are for the U.S., but I know what His ultimate plans are for His people everywhere:  one day, we will be with Him forever in heaven.  If you do not yet know the Lord, I hope to see you there!

Can You Live by an Evolutionary Worldview?

As a teen, I learned about evolution, which was seen as a completely random process. Over time, I came to see its numerous flaws and concluded that it was not a viable theory; I have written about the reasons for that here: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2020/09/16/is-evolution-a-viable-theory/ (Don’t worry; it’s not “technical.”) In Charles Darwin’s original formulation of evolution, human beings were regarded as simply animals. Among other things, this meant that people were not responsible for their actions and were thus free to live however they wanted. The flaws of this kind of thinking should be immediately apparent even from a secular point of view; more about that later.

In 2007, a multi-national group of biologists concluded that evolution is deterministic and orderly rather than random. This is a radical change from the randomness that generations of kids had previously learned about. But what would the consequences of this reformulation be for the reality of living?

A few months ago, I came across a rather remarkable book called Finding Truth by Nancy Pearcey. In her book, Pearcey fleshes out five powerful principles to apply to any worldview, whether it be secular or religious. I found her third principle to be particularly illuminating: Does the worldview contradict what we know about the world? She gives examples of prominent thinkers who have adopted a view of human beings as essentially machines. I understand now that this is a natural outgrowth of the view of evolution as deterministic rather than random; in other words, we are essentially not responsible for our actions because we are “pre-programmed” by our genes to think and act in certain ways. Even the great physicist Albert Einstein, who predated the change in evolutionary thinking, wrote almost 100 years ago, “I am compelled to act as if free will existed because if I want to live in a civilized society, I must act responsibly.” Notice the important phrase “as if;” in other words, Einstein didn’t believe in free will, but he lived according to it. This is an example of what Pearcey calls a “severe mental schizophrenia.” Here are some others:

  • Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins refers to human beings as “survival machines–robot vehicles blindly programmed” by their genes. On the other hand, he also says, “I blame people [and] I give people credit.” When a young man questioned him about his mechanistic but inconsistent view of human beings, Dawkins said, “It is an inconsistency that we sort of have to live with; otherwise, life would be intolerable.”
  • Philosopher Edward Slingerland has a whole section in one of his books entitled, “We Are Robots Designed Not to Believe That We Are Robots.” In other words, we are actually robots, but we think we’re not. Here’s what he wrote about his daughter: “At an important and ineradicable level, the idea of my daughter as merely a complex robot carrying my genes into the next generation is both bizarre and repugnant to me.”
  • Roboticist Rodney Brooks writes that a human being is nothing but a machine bound by the laws of physics and chemistry. However, writing about his own children, he says, “When I look at my children, I can, when I force myself, …see that they are machines. [However], that is not how I treat them… They have my unconditional love.”

It is incredible to me how people like Richard Dawkins, Edward Slingerland, and Rodney Brooks can somehow live with this kind of extreme cognitive dissonance. On the one hand, they profess to have a view of human beings as machines; at the same time, however, they admit that they themselves don’t–indeed, can’t–live like it, especially when it comes to their own children. Beyond the contradictions that they somehow live with, the danger, of course, is that they and other people who hold to their views can live as if they are not responsible. The same is true, of course, regarding Darwin’s original formulation of evolution, which treats human beings as animals; in neither view–human beings as machines or as animals–are people truly responsible for their actions. This flies in the face of reality; if you don’t think so, murder someone in full view of a group of police officers and see what happens to you in court.

Evolutionary theories, whether old or new, hold up neither to scientific scrutiny nor the reality of trying to live according to them. The Christian worldview, in contrast, has incredible explanatory power for everything. This includes the Biblical view of human beings as being created in the image of God and being morally responsible for our actions.

If you have simply accepted evolution as fact, and even moreso if you have tried to live according to its implications, I would encourage you to examine it for yourselves. I would also encourage you to examine the Christian worldview; you can read what I and so many other people have written about it, but I would also encourage you to go to the source for what we who are Christians believe: the Bible. There you will find the truth about our sinful condition and the remedy for it in Jesus Christ–the Truth–that millions of others have found throughout history.

Self-Marriage and Other “Marriages”

A good friend of mine recently sent me a link to an article about self-marriage (also known as sologamy) ceremonies, something I had never heard of before. Self-Marriage Unveiled, a 10-Week Initiation into Sacred Union, says this: “Every week for 10 weeks, you will receive an email with a theme, question, ceremonial practice, and writing about Self-Marriage to inspire you to go deeper. These self-inquiry practices will guide you into writing vows during week 7 and marrying yourself in your own ceremony in week 9.” This is not free, of course: it will cost you $200. The program is clearly geared toward women, which is no surprise: all of the testimonials/reflections on their website are from women; here is the link: http://www.selfmarriageceremonies.com/ However, there are men who have also married themselves.

It turns out, however, that even a marriage to yourself is not without its problems. Brazilian influencer Suellen Carey divorced herself after one year, explaining that she had even gone to therapy to fix the issues in her marriage, but the loneliness got to be too much for her. She says, “Now is the time to open my heart to new possibilities, including the chance to find a partner.” There are two things in particular that jumped out at me: one was the reference to her loneliness; the other is that she is now looking for a partner, obviously to relieve the loneliness that her self-marriage couldn’t.

After I shared the above link with my Sunday-school class, one of my brothers sent me a link to yet another new phenomenon: hologram marriages. Alicia Framis, a 57-year-old Spanish woman, is marrying a hologram named AILex; interestingly, she also mentions loneliness in a blog post. She says, “Love and sex with robots and holograms are an inevitable reality. They make great companions and are capable of expressing empathy.” Here is the link to the article: https://interestingengineering.com/culture/first-woman-marry-ai-hologram

While we can laugh and shake our heads (and I do) at self-marriages and hologram marriages, decrying the narcissism inherent in them, it is obvious that people like Suellen Carey and Alicia Framis are incredibly lonely; it is no surprise that both make reference to loneliness.

As I was researching this, another kind of marriage that came to mind was same-sex marriage, which was first legalized in 2001 by the Netherlands. 23 years later, there are 36 countries where same-sex marriage is legal; you can see a map here: https://www.hrc.org/resources/marriage-equality-around-the-world You’ll notice that a very large number of Caucasian-majority countries are included, as well as more of South America than I expected.

A fourth kind of marriage is polygamy, which has been around since very early recorded history. Depending on your source, there are currently between 47 and 58 countries where polygamy is legal. You can see a map here: https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/countries-where-polygamy-is-legal It’s no surprise that the vast majority of these countries are Muslim-dominant. It wouldn’t surprise me if polygamy becomes legal in the U.S. someday; LDS-dominant Utah has already decriminalized it.

How are we to evaluate all of this? If you’re a Christian, as I am, you need to look to the Bible. Way back in Genesis 2:24, God says, “For this reason a man will leave his mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” In Ephesians 5:22-33, the Apostle Paul gives instructions to husbands and wives. Verse 33 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” The Bible makes it clear that marriage is between one man and one woman. However, there are some critics who point to the fact that in the Old Testament, even godly King David, a man after God’s own heart, had at least eight wives and thus was a polygamist. Oh, and his son, wise King Solomon, had 700 wives (plus 300 concubines). While it is true that both David and Solomon were polygamists, does that mean the Lord approved of this practice? That would be like saying that the Lord approved of Jacob (whose name was later changed to “Israel”) for deceiving and then directly lying to his father Isaac so that he could get the birthright, and the blessings that went with it, instead of his brother Esau. In other words, just because something is in the Bible without direct consequences for it, that doesn’t mean the Lord approves of it. When we look at the Bible as a whole, it is very clear that the Lord does not approve of either polygamy or deceit/lying.

Regarding the other three types of marriage mentioned earlier: as much as the LGBTQ community might like to have the church’s recognition and even approval of same-sex marriages, we can’t give it to them because the Lord Himself doesn’t. They have the legal right to marry, and that should be enough. (Yes, I am aware that there are churches that not only approve of such marriages, but even officiate such weddings; the leaders of those churches will have to answer to the Lord, and I would not want to be in their shoes.) Regarding self-marriage and hologram marriage: while I can understand the deep loneliness that drives people into such “marriages,” they are fundamentally a reflection of narcissism, a self-love that is diametrically opposed to what the Bible teaches about loving others. Here is what Philippians 2:3-4 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

May we who know the Lord speak the truth in love to those we know, including those who have marriage views and practices that the Lord does not approve of.

Changing Praise Practices in Education

Several years ago, a friend of mine and I were discussing our rather-similar early childhoods (in the 1960s, but in different states), and we somehow ended up talking about praise, or the lack thereof, both at school and at home. One conclusion we had both come to independently of each other is that our teachers and parents didn’t want us kids to develop a “big head.” When I recently discussed this with my wife, who grew up at the same time in yet another state, she said the same thing. Although I haven’t seen this documented, the same experience of at least three different people in widely-separated states has convinced me that both our experience and at least one reason for it were probably the norm. This doesn’t mean that our parents and teachers were “mean” (although some were), but simply that we were expected to behave in certain ways; if we did, that’s what we were supposed to do, but if we didn’t, we could expect some kind of consequence. In addition, schools and parents were very much in lockstep; if our parents received a phone call from our school about disruptive behavior, they didn’t question the teacher or administrator in a defensive manner, but at the very least chewed us out. (Yes, I experienced this personally!)

Fast-forward two generations, into the 1990s. I don’t know about where you live, but in my city, bumper stickers like this became rather common: “My child was a student of the month at…” and “My child is a star student at…” I haven’t seen those around for at least ten years; one of the reasons is that schools didn’t want to be liable for kids/cars becoming targets of jealousy. In fact, my wife heard that at least one school had expressed concern about such stickers possibly making the kids more likely to become targets of kidnappers. In a similar vein, one year, a photography company contracted by our son’s school gave parents the option of a class photograph with their child’s photo centered and enlarged compared with classmates and the teacher. Talk about a big head! My wife and I both felt disgusted by this option and did not get the class photo. We certainly loved our son, but we didn’t want him to think he was more important than everyone else in the photo. Thankfully, that kind of class-photo option did not reappear the following year! I should add here, in contrast to the 1960s, that it wasn’t hard to notice parents had become much more defensive about their children’s behavior in general, and certainly more specifically at school; after all, their child was a “star!”

Other similar manifestations of praise around that time from schools were slogans like, “You’re special!” and “You’re awesome!” and “You can do or be anything!” While I didn’t mind the first slogan so much, the second and third ones bothered me because they’re very generalized, and the third one, in particular, is not true. What does it even mean to say that a person is awesome? And while every child has specific talents and skills, that doesn’t mean they can be successful at anything and everything!

There is plenty of research that concludes the following: when children are praised for specific talents and accomplishments, they take the praise as sincere; when they are praised in a very general way, they eventually don’t view it sincerely. Dr. Lisa Firestone, the Director of Research and Education at The Glendon Association, writes, “Self-esteem isn’t about telling kids that everything they do is terrific. A real sense of self-worth is based on the skills they build for themselves and the true accomplishments they feel they’ve made. However, many parents have the tendency to build up their kids with false or exaggerated statements. For example, instead of saying, ‘What a creative painting! You really worked hard on that,’ they may say something like, ‘Wow! What a wonderful artist you are! You’re so talented! You’re the best painter I’ve ever seen.’”

Firestone goes on to say that when parents overpraise their kids, they may feel entitled; inadequate; disappointed; and less interested in activities. The first three have to do with kids eventually realizing that they are not as able as their parents have led them to believe. To illustrate the final one–children becoming less interested in activities–she tells the story of a young boy who used to love baseball and took pride in his little-league games until his dad became involved. His loud yells during games made the boy feel embarrassed and resentful, and baseball became a performance. He soon lost interest and stopped playing baseball altogether. I should add that not every child is going to react the same way as this boy did, but it is a cautionary tale for parents; it’s certainly possible to be supportive without being, frankly, obnoxious!

Fast-forward another three decades, and we see the strange rise of Critical Race Theory (CRT) in education. It’s actually been around since at least 1989, but following George Floyd’s death four years ago, it became much more in vogue in some states. It soon started to come to light that in some schools, kids were being told (more explicitly in some cases than others) that whites were oppressors and blacks were victims. Some programs advocated by educators seemed just too ridiculous to be true: the Oregon Department of Education, for example, advertised a course for middle-school teachers in early 2021 that included a list of ways “white supremacy culture” allegedly “infiltrates math classrooms.” Those included the focus on “getting the ‘right’ answer” and students being “required to show their work.” As you might guess, there was a backlash: At least 44 states have taken steps to restrict teaching CRT and/or limit how teachers can discuss racism. I mention CRT here because it is very different from the overpraising of kids that had been going on 30 years prior, and in fact is in opposition to it.

What are we to make of all this? First of all, I would hope that parents want to praise, but not overpraise, their kids; we ought to be selective and specific in our praise so that our kids will perceive it as sincere. That way, our kids will be better able to gauge their talents and abilities. I wouldn’t want to return to the scarcity of praise in the 1960s, but neither do I want to see the effects on society of parents overpraising. Regarding Critical Race Theory: I would hope that regardless of which side of the political aisle you’re on, you would not want to see it perpetuated. Of course, our kids should understand our nation’s history, including its worst aspects. However, CRT promotes lies and racial division for no good reason.

The Apostle Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” The context of this is that one day, those of us who know and love the Lord will be with Him forever. However, I believe we can rightfully apply this to our interactions with people of all ages, not just kids, in terms of specifically praising them in using their talents and abilities to do the right thing.