Are Pets Becoming the New Children?

Recently, I saw the following post on nextdoor.com: “Our boy Toby is missing!” I was genuinely concerned that a family’s son was missing, but I should have known better. When I scrolled down a bit, I saw that a modest reward was being offered, and there was a picture of a cat.

On a typical day, at least two of the top three-four trending posts on nextdoor.com in my city are about dogs; yesterday it was two out of three. These posts are typically about either a missing dog or a stray that someone saw. The dog names are typically ones that are also names for people, albeit ones that are currently not popular: the aforementioned “Toby” is one example; “Bernie” is another. When I was a boy in the 1960s, pets had names that most likely no one would ever name their child: my family had dogs that were named “Skip,” “Squirt,” and “Boots.” An elderly lady in my town had a dog named “Fifi.” My best friend had a dog named “Belford” which, although a given name for a boy, was and is a very uncommon one, at least in the U.S.

Another growing phenomenon I’ve noticed is that many people, both in writing and speaking, have come to refer to their pet(s) as part of their “family.” Sixty years ago, people sometimes referred to their pet as the “family dog,” for example, but that is obviously different from being a “member” of the “family.”

Pet owners have become increasingly willing to spend money on their pets as well. We can see this in the expected growth in employment for veterinarians over the next ten years in the U.S. This growth is expected to be, on average, 15%, which is significantly higher than the average expected occupational growth overall; it is increasingly common for people to take their ailing pet to a vet. Another example of extra money spent on pets is rather bizarre to me: A recent survey found that the majority of pet owners have birthday parties for their pets! I should also mention that pet “clothing” has become a burgeoning industry, along with pet toys, which have been around much longer.

When my wife and I take our daily morning walk, a rather common sight is a man or woman, of varying ages, walking a dog. The women that we see tend to be younger than the men. I don’t know how many of these dog-walkers are living with someone, but my impression is that at least some of them probably live alone.

All of this aroused my curiosity, so I dug further, asking the question in the title of this post. I was not surprised to get several hits. Psychologist Mark Travers, for example, after noting the free fall in birth and fertility rates (at least in North America and Europe), questions whether pets are replacing children in families. He writes that researchers Laura Gillet and Eniko Kubinyi have found three reasons why many couples find “raising” pets— particularly dogs—as meaningful as raising children.

1) Attachment. The emotional bond between people and pets mirrors the attachment between parents and children.

2) Parenting styles. Childless pet owners tend to “raise” their pets in ways similar to the ways parents raise children, including establishing routines and boundaries.

3) Cognition. Dogs are “emotionally intelligent, socially attuned, and remarkably responsive to human behavior,” say Gillet and Kubinyi.

Here are a few stats related specifically to millennials and Gen Z in regard to pets:

• 61% of young people under 40 agree that “pets are the new kids.”

• 70% of childless millennial women view their pets as their children.

• 43% of millennials and Gen Z prefer having pets over children. Notice the word “over,” meaning “in the place of.”

Maybe these stats don’t bother you, but they do me. My concern is that our younger generations may find it increasingly preferable not to get married. There has been a precipitous drop in marriage rates; more specifically, it is projected that only about 62% of millennials will ever marry, compared with an even lower projection of 57% for Gen Z. This has implications for having kids, which the Bible tells us are a blessing; in Psalm 127:3, we read, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” There will always be people who have children outside of marriage, but God’s design will always be the best: a husband and wife raising kids in a loving, stable, secure home.

I’m not down on having pets; far from it! As I mentioned earlier, I grew up with three dogs at different times, and I enjoyed them; however, I enjoyed my friends even more! Additionally, when my daughter was 10, we bought a rabbit (named Cosmo) that we let run free in our tiny backyard during the day–and then we chased him into his cage at night. When he died after a good long life, I cried even more than my daughter did.

I think what we need is a kind of balance. Especially for our younger generations, I hope that as time goes on, pets will not take the place of children but will instead become a joyful addition.