Feel Like a Number

When I bought my first car at age 17, I listened to rock music whenever I was driving. My favorite bands were Kansas and Styx, but naturally, I heard plenty of other bands and artists as well. One of them was Bob Seger; even though I wasn’t a big fan, there are two of his songs that have stuck with me all these years. One of them is called “Feel Like a Number” (1978), which you can listen to the live version of here: https://www.bobseger.com/video/feel-number-liveremastered/ Here are the lyrics:

I take my card and I stand in line
To make a buck I work overtime
Dear Sir letters keep coming in the mail

I work my back till it’s racked with pain
The boss can’t even recall my name
I show up late and I’m docked
It never fails

I feel like just another
Spoke in a great big wheel
Like a tiny blade of grass
In a great big field, whoa

To workers I’m just another drone
To Ma Bell I’m just another phone
I’m just another statistic on a sheet

To teachers I’m just another child
To IRS I’m another file
I’m just another consensus on the street

Gonna cruise out of this city
Head down to the sea
Gonna shout out at the ocean
Hey it’s me

And I feel like a number
Feel like a number
Feel like a stranger
A stranger in this land

I feel like a number
I’m not a number
I’m not a number
Damn it, I’m a man
I said I’m a man

Gonna cruise out of this city
Head down to the sea
Gonna shout out at the ocean
Hey, it’s me

And I feel like a number
Feel like a number
Feel like a stranger
A stranger in this land

I feel like a number
I’m not a number
I’m not a number
Damn it, I’m a man

I feel like a…

Before Seger rose to fame, he worked in a series of factories, including on a Ford auto assembly line; this is reflected in several of the lyrics: “I take a card and stand in line” refers to taking your time card and waiting in line to “punch the clock;” I also had Seger’s experience in several different jobs, including as a welder one summer. While employers still use time clocks, the technology has evolved, of course, especially the use of digital time clocks. I love Seger’s description of feeling like a “spoke in a great big wheel” and a “tiny blade of grass in a great big field.” Actually, I love all of his analogies; depending on your age, you may identify with some more than others, but I think most people can appreciate being just “another file” to the IRS. And the best analogy of all is in the title and repeated several times: “feel like a number.” We all have numbers that identify us; in the U.S., social security, driver’s license, passport, and employee numbers come to mind. Very temporary ones, such as “wait-in-line” numbers on fast-food receipts from my just-finished trip, also come to mind, as do less-temporary ones, such as account numbers.

Although I had spent all of my life up to age 18 (and a few years beyond) in small towns where I knew others and was known, the lyrics of this song really resonated with me. If I were to choose one word to sum up Bob Seger’s feeling in this song–and to some degree mine at the time–it’s alienation. This means feeling like you don’t belong and that other people don’t really understand you. (Seger says, “I feel like a stranger in this land.”) As I have reflected on this, I think my feeling at that time had a lot to do with my not becoming a Christian until I was 20, two years after this song came out. At that time, the faith that I had grown up with and that I was immersed in became my own; it wasn’t just head knowledge anymore, but had penetrated my heart. I finally began to understand that my Creator loved me and that I could have a relationship with Him. It took a while, though, because three years later, when a friend of mine told me she had “had a great time with the Boss” (praying to the Lord) that morning, I still had only a vague understanding of what that meant. The following year, however, when I figured out what the Lord wanted me to do and where He wanted me to do it–at least for the next few years–I understood it much better.

I definitely don’t feel like a number anymore, but I often find myself at odds with the culture and in that sense feeling alienated, but in a different way. I should add that after living and working in another culture overseas in my younger adult years, I think I would find myself at odds no matter where I was! Someone has wisely said that every culture expresses various sins in ways specific to that particular culture.

Interestingly, the New Testament speaks of God’s people as aliens. 1 Peter 2:11 says, “Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.” On the other hand, Ephesians 2:19 says, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household.” So, God’s people are aliens in regard to this world, but no longer aliens in regard to our being part of God’s family. I think that these verses together express my feeling that while I may find myself at odds with the culture (the world), at the same time I have found belonging as one of God’s people. Hebrews 11:13-16 beautifully expresses the change from being part of any country in this world to (eventually) being part of a heavenly one with a heavenly city: the new Jerusalem. “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”

If you feel alienated–maybe you even feel like a number at times!–that will change if you put your faith in Jesus Christ. He knows and understands you even better than you understand yourself. You will find true belonging through knowing Him (and being known) as well as through fellowship with other believers. That has been my experience, and it can be yours as well.