What’s in a Pronoun?

A couple of months ago, I came across a New York Post article by Chris Nesi about a Virginia teacher who had been fired for refusing to use a transgender student’s preferred pronouns. The student had requested that his teachers use male pronouns when referring to “him” rather than the female pronouns that accorded with her biological sex. Peter Vlaming, the fired teacher, had attempted to accommodate the student by using her chosen name while avoiding using pronouns. However, Vlaming said, “I was wrongfully fired [in 2018] from my teaching job because my religious beliefs put me on a collision course with school administrators who mandated that teachers ascribe to only one perspective on gender identity—their preferred view. I loved teaching French and gracefully tried to accommodate every student in my class, but I couldn’t say something that directly violated my conscience.” Vlaming sued, and six years later, he was awarded a $575,000 settlement by the West Point School Board; the wrongful dismissal has also been expunged from his record. Here’s the link to the article: https://nypost.com/2024/10/02/us-news/va-teacher-fired-for-not-using-trans-students-pronouns-awarded-575k-in-lawsuit/

Notice that Vlaming was not fired because of what he said but because of what he refused to say, a very dangerous precedent. The trans student had attempted to force him to say words that would have violated his conscience. Notice as well that Vlaming attempted to accommodate the trans student by avoiding pronouns altogether. However, that wasn’t good enough. On the other hand, since the $575,000 settlement, the West Point district has aligned itself with state guidelines, which now allow K-12 teachers in Virginia to refer to transgender students by their birth name and gender regardless of their gender identity.

That New York Post article recently came to mind because of President Trump’s executive order for executive-branch employees to remove gender pronouns from their e-mail signatures. Various agencies, such as the CDC, have been told to review email systems such as Outlook and turn off features that prompt users for their pronouns. This is all part of Trump’s efforts to have the government recognize two sexes, male and female. It is also a reaction to DEI, which I have written about previously here in relation to education: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2024/05/02/honors-programs-vs-dei/ as well as here in relation to business: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2024/06/13/the-death-of-dei-in-business/

When I first became aware of this matter of preferred pronouns a few years ago, the focus was on using “they,” “them,” and “their” to refer to a nonbinary individual. However, I did some research and discovered that in the LGBTQ community, there are now literally hundreds of preferred, or nonbinary, pronouns. Examples include ze, zir, ve, vis, and ver. It must be dizzying to try to remember an individual’s preferred pronouns, especially since nonbinary people often change their pronoun preferences according to context. (That last part is according to the UC Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center.)

Speaking of context: I’m a retired ESL teacher, and I can only imagine what it’s like for those students who are trying to navigate this new plethora of pronouns. At my college, we had (and still have) six different levels of ESL. At the lowest level, just teaching students the correct use of basic subject pronouns (I, you, he, she, it, we, they) and object pronouns (me, you, him, her, it, us, them) can be challenging enough. (A side note: my, your, his, her, its, our, and their are adjectives, not pronouns!) Imagine students’ confusion if I were to refer to a nonbinary person as “they” when students know that “they” is plural–except when it’s not! As a teacher, my focus was on use, and here is where I have not seen any discussion; let me briefly explain.

When I’m talking to someone, I use the pronoun “you” to refer to him or her. When I refer to someone else, I almost always use that person’s name, at least initially; if I later refer to the person again, I may or may not use “he” or “she,” depending on the need for clarity. As a teacher, when I called on a student to speak, I would use his or her name. After she was done speaking, I might then say something like, “Good answer, Maria. You understand this very well.” Later, I might say, “A couple minutes ago, Maria told us…” If I referred to Maria yet again, then I would probably use “she” and “her” rather than “Maria” as long as it was clear who I was referring to. Peter Vlaming, the Virginia teacher who was fired six years ago, was simply continuing to use the student’s name, rather than her preferred pronouns. Here’s the point: There is comparatively low-frequency usage of third-person pronouns (he, she, they) in the context of a class or a meeting. In conversation, understandably, the frequency is likely to be higher, especially if you’re talking at length about an individual.

I have spoken with more than one teacher over the past few years who has made the same choice as Peter Vlaming: repeatedly using nonbinary students’ names rather than their preferred pronouns. A side note: Shortly after I retired almost five years ago, I noticed that my former boss had added she/her/hers to her e-mail signature. Perhaps my former employer will someday ask employees to remove those pronouns.

I would say that within the LGBTQ community, if people want to insist on preferred-pronoun usage, then let them do so. However, trying to make others outside that community use a person’s preferred pronouns can create confusion, and not just for second-language learners. In addition, and more importantly for some of us, as Peter Vlaming said, using preferred pronouns can violate our conscience, particularly when a trans woman is demanding to be called “she” or a trans man is demanding to be called “he.”

What does the Bible have to say about all of this? In the very first chapter of the Bible, in Genesis 1:27, the Lord says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” And in Psalm 139:13, David says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” In other words, the Lord has made us the sex we are. While I want to be able to show compassion toward people who identify with the opposite sex (and yes, I know some), at the same time I cannot violate my conscience to meet their preferences and demands. If you are a trans person reading this, my prayer is that you will come to understand that the Lord made you. He will forgive you and transform you in ways you had never thought of if you come to Him in faith and repentance.