What Is Your Greatest Fear?

Since tomorrow is Halloween, a strange holiday which revolves around fear, I thought this would be a good time to write about a survey I came across a few months ago. Maria Stenvinkel, co-founder of Fearless Minds, gives us a list of the greatest fears of 65 people from 18 different countries. What distinguishes this list from others is that the responses are very personal and thoughtful. For example, no one responded with “climate change” or “terrorism,” which might surprise some of our cultural elites. Neither did anyone respond with a phobia of any kind, which surprised me somewhat. If you’re interested in the full list, click here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-your-greatest-fear-life-65-brave-answers-from-18-stenvinkel/ (I’m not sure if you need a linkedin account to access it.)

As I analyzed the list, I put the fears into categories. (If you do this yourself, your numbers and the names of your categories may differ somewhat from mine.) The two largest categories, tied for 11 responses each, were Fear of Being Alone/Lonely/No Intimacy and Failure/Failing/Not Being Good Enough. In regard to the first category, Saray (Spain) responded, “My deepest fear is being alone without family or friends. I can’t understand how people can love me.” Katie (London) wrote, “Lack of intimacy with life and people. And lack of effective and valuable contribution to society.” (This is actually two different fears, but Katie wrote “lack of intimacy” first.)

In regard to the other top category, Fear of Failure, Kate (Australia) responded, “Being a failure and disappointment…to both others and myself.” Sara (USA) wrote simply, “My biggest fear is not being good enough.”

Interestingly, one category that had more responses than I expected (5) was Fear of No Purpose/Missing out on Purpose. Danielle (USA) developed her thoughts in some detail: “My greatest fear would be missing out on my purpose here on earth. Whether it’s because I wasn’t motivated enough to pursue dreams, or distracted with life in general, I know I have a purpose that I am not yet serving.” Luciana (Portugal) responded, “To go through life without leaving a positive mark.”

One category that had fewer responses than I expected was Fear of Death (4), whether of self or others. However, of the seven comments on the article, two of them also said fear of death. Lena (Sweden) wrote, “Death, that I or someone in my family will die (to lose control over the most important thing we have–-life).” Sometimes there is an overlap between categories; Anne (India) responded, “My greatest fear is that I will die alone.”

One category that I suppose some people would expect to see more of was Fear of Not Having Enough Money/Finances (3). Laura (Italy) wrote, “My greatest fear is that I won’t have enough money to support myself (and retire eventually).”

As I read through the responses, I had to ask myself, “What is my greatest fear?” It used to be fear of stinging insects, which is much less now. Then it was colon cancer (although no one in my family has ever had cancer of any kind). However, I have a colonoscopy every few years, including this year, and I’m “clear.” One thing I discovered over the past year in two different national parks (Yosemite and Glacier) is that I have some vertigo that I didn’t use to have. When I was driving on mountain roads that had a very steep drop-off on one side, my hands got clammy; as long as I just focused on the road, I was OK.

Even though there were only four “fear of death” responses in Stenvinkel’s survey, I want to focus on this fear because although it is often not voiced, I believe that it drives many decisions, including those related to prolonging life as long as possible. There is an elderly brother in my church who I have enjoyed getting to know over the past year. He told my wife and me a story about his dad, who was kidnapped several decades ago and initially thrown in the trunk; a bit later, he was taken out of the trunk and forced to drive the vehicle. (A very stupid decision by the kidnapper, if you ask me.) As the kidnapper gave directions, the driver/kidnappee first sped up and started to drive a bit erratically. The kidnapper, of course, was scared and shouted threats, which the driver ignored. Eventually, he came to a place in the road with a ditch, so he slowed down, opened the car door, and jumped out. It was dark, and he was able to run away; the kidnapper was occupied with the still-moving car!

I absolutely love this story! Before hearing it, I had thought more than once about what I would do in that situation. (Yeah, I know, my mind goes to strange places sometimes.) I’m not sure yet about jumping out of the vehicle, but I would most definitely not follow the kidnapper’s directions. I would definitely drive erratically and probably deliberately crash into something (at a low speed), or at least drive off the road. I don’t have a death wish, but I figure that whatever would happen to me couldn’t be worse than what the kidnapper might do. The kidnapper, of course, assumes that the kidnappee will value his or her survival above all else.

There are two verses I love in Hebrews 2 (verses 14-15) that apply to the fear of death: “Since the children have flesh and blood, he [Jesus] too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” Notice especially that last part, verse 15: “and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” For those of us who know the Lord, we need have no fear of death.

There is a contemporary Christian song by Shane & Shane that I love called “You’ve Already Won.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJWc4rP-D8c I especially love the lyrics in this part of the song:

I know how the story ends
We will be with You again
You’re my Savior my defense
No more fear in life or death
I know how this story ends

As usual, I’m getting teary while I’m listening to it. Here’s a link to another closely-related song that I love: “Battle Belongs” by Phil Wickham: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=johgSkNj3-A

Maybe you have some degree of fear about the election next week; if so, you might be interested in a post I wrote four years ago the morning after that presidential election: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2020/11/04/god-is-in-control/

If you are reading this and you’re not a Christian, you can live without fear if you put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ. This is not to say that you will never be afraid, but that He will enable you to overcome your fears.