Our First Dance

With my anniversary almost here (36th this year), it has become my tradition to write a year-end post about something related to marriage or child-rearing. This year, it was very easy to decide on the topic because of a special, unplanned event for my wife and me this year: our first dance.

My wife and I have been to several weddings over the years, and it has become very commonplace for the newlyweds (and others) to dance at the reception. I can imagine that you are probably incredulous that it took us 35+ years!

First of all, to help you understand why it took so long, let me explain something about my background. My father was a pastor in the Christian Reformed Church (CRC), which had its own set of rules about what was allowed but especially what was frowned upon. Although I didn’t realize it at as a young boy, one activity that fell into the latter category was dancing. However, when I first saw people dancing, it didn’t make any impression on me, and I had no desire to dance anyway.

By the time I was a teen, I had seen some dancing (probably in a movie) which was somewhat suggestive, so I began to understand my church’s (unwritten) stance on it. My Christian high school did not even have a prom, although we did have spirit week and homecoming. I certainly didn’t miss it; in fact, I don’t recall even hearing the word “prom” until I was a young adult. The first time I danced (other than a little bit alone here and there while listening to music) was at Dordt College (now Dordt University), where now and then the college held a square dance. I participated briefly one year but was nervous because of the necessity of learning certain “steps.”

A few years after that, at my wedding (held at the Christian Reformed Church where we had met), my bride (not from a CRC background) and I did not dance at our early-afternoon reception; no one else did, either! We didn’t even consider having dancing; the space didn’t allow for it anyway.

Fast-forward 35 years. Earlier this year, my wife and I were at the wedding of a young couple from our church. At the reception, once the dancing started, a good friend of ours at our table suggested that we get out there on the dance floor. I told her something about my background, and while she understood, she urged us to get out there anyway. I invited my wife out onto the dance floor, and much to my surprise, I immediately found myself dancing with her to Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me).” I didn’t realize it in that moment, but we attracted some (good) attention, including from the bride, who later told us that she enjoyed watching us “bustin’ a move.” Our friend also videoed us, and when I watched it later, I saw joy on my wife’s face! I knew that she had danced with (more like around) other gals when she was much younger, but she later told me I was the first man she had danced with. Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll need any encouragement to invite her out on the dance floor at the next opportunity! In fact, some of you are probably thinking, “Why wait for the next ‘opportunity?!'”

Reflecting on our first dance, I realized that primarily what made it so easy was not having to learn any prescribed “steps,” but simply and naturally “bustin’ a move.” The other thing that made it easy was that I was dancing with my loving wife, who didn’t have any expectations about “how” we were going to do it or how we were going to “look.”

I have known for some time that the Bible does not discourage dancing; far from it. Psalm 149:3 says, for example, “Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp.” Psalm 150:4 tells us, “Praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute.” We also have instances of King David (in 2 Samuel 6:14) and Miriam the prophetess in Exodus 15:20 dancing. While I understand my boyhood church’s “prohibition” on dancing because of concerns about “exciting passions” and the like, there is most definitely dancing that honors the Lord.

Maybe some of you will have the opportunity to dance with your spouse or other special person at a New Year’s party next week. Regardless, may you have a most blessed New Year!

Unpacking the Theology of Another Christmas Hymn

Christmas season is here, with Christmas Day itself less than two weeks away! Sometimes it’s easy for me to enjoy all the “trappings” of Christmas but difficult for me to keep my focus where it belongs: on Jesus, Whose birth we celebrate.

One part of Christmas I have always enjoyed is Christmas hymns, both at church and at home. Over the past few years, one thing I have found is that concentrating on the words helps me with the focus I should have. At the same time, it sometimes takes some extra work to figure out the meaning, especially since some of the phraseology sounds a bit archaic to our modern ears. This is because so many of them were written in the 19th century.

When I was growing up in the 1960s, I listened over and over to the annual Goodyear Christmas albums that my dad always brought home. One of my favorite songs is “O Holy Night;” Andy Williams sang it on one of those albums. Then in the 1980s I heard it on a Maranatha Christmas album. On the Maranatha album, by the time the choir soars into “Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever!”, my heart is soaring with them!

As I mentioned earlier, however, the meaning of some of the lyrics of our favorite hymns can be a bit hard to understand. Here is my attempt at an exegesis of sorts for “O Holy Night.”

O holy night! the stars are brightly shining; (On this holy night, it seems the stars are shining even brighter than usual.)
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth. (That’s because it’s the night of Jesus’ birth!)
Long lay the world in sin and error pining, (Up until now, the world has been laboring under the burden of sin, longing for deliverance.)
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. (Now Jesus has come, and our souls have some understanding of our worth, as we are created in God’s image and can be saved.)
A thrill of hope- the weary world rejoices, (The world begins to rejoice with hope!)
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn! (Look! A new, glorious morning is coming!)
Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! (Kneel in worship and listen to the angels singing!)
O night divine, O night when Christ was born! (This is a divine night because Jesus is born!)
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming, (We have come in faith to worship Jesus.)
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand. (Our hearts are full of peace as we joyfully worship by Jesus’ cradle.)
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming, (The Star in the East led us here.)
Here came the Wise Men from Orient land. (We are the Magi from the Orient.)
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger, (Jesus, the King of kings, is lying in a humble manger.)
In all our trials born to be our Friend. (Jesus is our Friend, helping us in all of our troubles.)
He knows our need— to our weakness is no stranger. (Jesus, although perfect, understands our weaknesses and knows what we need.)
Behold your King, before Him lowly bend! (Gaze on your King and kneel before Him!)
Behold your King, before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another; (Jesus has taught us how to love one another.)
His law is love and His gospel is peace. (We are now under the law of love, and His message gives peace.)
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother, (Jesus will break all chains, including slavery.)
And in His name all oppression shall cease. (Ultimately, enslavement of all kinds will no longer exist.)
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we; (We joyfully sing to the Lord with thankful hearts!)
Let all within us praise His holy name. (Let’s praise Him with all of our being!)
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever! (Jesus is Lord!! Praise His Name for all eternity!!)
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim! (Tell the world about His power and glory!)
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

A couple of notes: The first four lines of the second verse probably all refer to the Wise Men; obviously, lines 3-4 do. I suppose it’s possible the hymnwriter intended lines 1-2 to refer to the shepherds, but that seems less likely. Regardless, we know from Luke 2 (especially “nearby” in verse 8 and “hurried” in verse 16) that the shepherds went to see Jesus immediately, whereas the Wise Men probably didn’t see Him until He was two years old; notice they visited Jesus in “the house” in Matthew 2:11. Regarding the reference to “chains” and “the slave” in verse 3, this probably refers to actual slavery; this hymn was composed in 1847 by Adolphe Adam, a Frenchman, and translated into English eight years later by John Sullivan Dwight, an American. This translation was six years before the beginning of the Civil War. We can also see this as liberation from spiritual slavery, but it seems likely that physical slavery was intended here as well.

Here is a link to the Maranatha Christmas version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USR3Fr5Bf0Q The first six lines of verse 3 are not sung, but this remains my favorite version of the various ones I’ve heard.

May this hymn bring peace and joy to your soul. Merry Christmas!

___________________________________________________________________________________

If you’re interested in previous posts related to Christmas, check these out:

https://keithpetersenblog.com/a-christmas-quiz/ (This is a Christmas quiz.)

https://keithpetersenblog.com/unpacking-the-theology-of-a-christmas-hymn/ (This is about the incredible theology packed into the hymn “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”)

https://keithpetersenblog.com/the-foolishness-of-christmas/ (This is about how the Christmas message is foolishness to non-Christians, but the saving power of God to Christians.)

https://keithpetersenblog.com/a-tale-of-two-christmas-light-extravaganzas (This is a comparison of two very different Christmas-light displays in my city a couple years ago.)

More Planting, Watering, Harvesting

With Thanksgiving week here, I’ve been thinking about what I’m most thankful for right now. It didn’t take me long to realize what that is.

Three months ago, I received an e-mail from a man who was my student in a Third World country 38 years ago. We had been in touch sporadically a few times throughout the years, including in person, but it had been a long time since our last contact. I was very joyful to be back in touch since we had become friends way back then–but much more than that, we had become brothers in Christ some time ago. I will refer to him throughout this post with the moniker “Challenger,” for reasons which will soon become obvious.

When he was my student, Challenger would sometimes come to visit, and we sometimes had lengthy conversations, often focused on his questions about God and the Bible. Since we were in a Communist country, he had a strong atheistic background, and his questions were usually asked in a challenging, even scoffing, manner. He would sometimes shake his head and say, “Oh, Keith” in a tone which indicated he thought I was foolish to be a Christian. I rarely found myself “offended” because I understood that for someone with his background, I should not be surprised. More importantly, I was very thankful for the opportunity to talk to him about the Lord.

In the same class, there was another student that I will call “Party Girl” because she was a Communist Party member. I knew of that affiliation because she was the class monitor, responsible for duties such as taking attendance, managing classroom supplies, and monitoring student behavior–for the teacher as well as the administration. I didn’t get to know her as well, but I remember that she also thought the idea of God was foolish. To be clear, I was an English teacher, not a Bible teacher, but students would ask all kinds of questions outside of class, especially about various aspects of American culture, which to them included churches, God, and the Bible. When American holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter came around, my two American teaching partners and I were allowed to talk to students about the meaning of them, which also opened some doors.

Three years later, I got to see Challenger and Party Girl again–as a married couple! They had graduated, and in the meantime, I had also gotten married during my year back in the States. My wife and I had returned to that same Communist country as newlyweds. We taught there for three more years before returning to the States with a toddler in tow. I had a couple more chances to see both Party Girl and Challenger here, and then a few years later, my former teaching partners informed me that Challenger had become a Christian! A few more years after that, Party Girl also gave her life to Christ.

When Challenger contacted me again three months ago, we had a lengthy, incredibly joyful conversation over Zoom, and I finally got to hear the story of how he had come to put his trust in Jesus Christ. Among other things, he said that there was a pastor in the States that he had challenged with a lot of questions, and this pastor had patiently answered all of them. Challenger found himself in tears, and shortly after that, he prayed to receive Christ.

A couple of weeks after I got to hear Challenger’s story, my wife and I talked with both Challenger and Party Girl over Zoom, and we got to hear the story about how she, too, had put her faith and trust in Jesus Christ a few years after her husband; a number of people, both here and back in their country of origin, had had a part in this. It is hard to express the joy I felt in hearing her story as well as his; 1 Peter 1:8-9 expresses it better than I, with my own words, can: “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” Yes, inexpressible and glorious joy for the salvation of Challenger and Party Girl! As my wife and I were talking later, I told her that Challenger and Party Girl were not exactly two of my students from 38 years ago that I would have thought would come to faith in Christ; however, back then I didn’t understand that their questions reflected a desire not just for information, but a much deeper longing in their souls.

This year, my wife and I are homeschooling the son of close friends of ours. He has also had a large number of questions about God and the Bible. One of them was, “Why doesn’t God make the world perfect?” In fact, he developed that into an excellent essay! Another of his questions was, “Can God kill Satan?” (!) There are many others as well, but this one that he asked my wife was especially striking: “Can you teach me how to love God just to love God?” As my wife talked to him, he explained that he meant he wanted to love God just for Who He is, not focusing on any reward in heaven, for example. Wow. He said that he is not ready to become a Christian yet. However, my wife and and I think that he is very close. I suppose there are some Christians who might want to focus on his praying to receive Christ now, but since we believe that it will happen in God’s timing, we’re not going to try to rush/push it.

A couple of years ago, I wrote another post which includes stories about planting, watering, and harvesting. You can click here to read it if you’re interested: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2021/02/24/planting-watering-harvesting/ I referred to I Corinthians 3:5-7, which says, “What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe–as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” In other words, sometimes you may plant the seed in a person’s life; they hear something of the Gospel for essentially the first time. This was the case with Challenger and Party Girl. Sometimes you may water the seed; a person already knows something of the Gospel, but they learn more of it from you; this has been the case with the boy my wife and I are homeschooling. The Bible also often speaks of harvest as a metaphor for people who put their faith in Christ; sometimes you may even have the privilege of being there for that moment. With the son of our friends, maybe we will have that privilege; regardless, we have already had the joy of talking to him about the Lord and the Bible. Regardless of what role(s) we are privileged to have, as Scripture says, it is God Who makes the seed grow.

Maybe as you sit around the table on Thanksgiving Day with your family and friends, you can bless each other by sharing what you are most thankful for right now. May you have a most blessed Thanksgiving!

More Coddling at American Universities

Last week, I saw headlines related to several universities across the country that had canceled classes the day after the presidential election. The purpose was to allow time for students to “recover” from the stress of the election results. Here are some examples of universities that not only canceled classes but took things a step further:

  • Georgetown University provided a “self-care suite” where students were provided with milk and cookies; hot cocoa; Legos; and “Coloring and Mindfulness Exercises.”
  • Some professors at Harvard University canceled classes, made attendance optional, or extended assignment deadlines. Economics lecturer Maxim Boycko, for example, emailed students, “As we recover from the eventful election night and process the implications of Trump’s victory, please know that class will proceed as usual today, except that classroom quizzes will not be for credit. Feel free to take time off if needed.” The student newspaper noted that several professors had postponed exams or lightened students’ assignments after Trump’s win in 2016, as well.
  • Multiple students from Columbia University, particularly its Barnard College, noted that following the Hamas attacks on Israel on October 7 last year, no classes were canceled. In fact, there were antisemitic protests on both campuses (as well as others) over several weeks during which Jewish students feared for their safety. However, last week, some professors canceled classes, shortened them, or made them “optional.”
  • At Virginia Tech, a full day of “self-care” activities, including yoga classes, “restorative dialogue,” and therapy dog “pawfice” hours was offered to process the election results.
  • Moving to the west coast, students at the University of Puget Sound were invited to stroll in a “walkable labyrinth” with “calming lighting and music;” “recharge” their mental health in an arts and crafts corner; or make a collage in a “supportive space for election processing.” These were all part of a full week of “self-care” election activities.
  • At the University of Oregon, “Quacktavious the Therapy Duck,” baby therapy goats, and therapy dogs were brought to campus “to promote well-being and lessen anxiety” for students.
  • Even K-12 students were not exempt from canceled classes. Students at Ethical Culture Fieldston School in New York who felt too emotionally distressed the day after the election were excused from classes. In addition, no homework was assigned on Election Day, no student assessments were given the following day, and psychologists were available to provide counseling.

I’m sure there are other examples, but I think these will suffice. These schools were the object of widespread mockery on social media, as one might expect. More than one person said that some of our universities sounded like daycare centers. The word “coddling,” which means overprotecting or pampering, was used by more than one person as well. (Special thanks, by the way, to Campus Reform for keeping us aware of what’s happening on our university campuses. Also, you can read about this in more detail in this article: https://www.foxnews.com/media/universities-come-under-fire-canceling-classes-providing-safe-spaces-students-upset-trumps-victory)

Since equality is so important to so many, I would say that if a university is going to have these kinds of “self-care” and “recovery” activities, then they ought to do it after every presidential election, not just elections when a certain “side” wins. I saw nothing like this following the 2020 presidential election, for example. Some will say this is because of COVID and the lockdowns; however, classes were still taking place online.

Better (much better) yet, however, our universities should not allow professors to cancel classes in the wake of elections. In 2018, The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt was published. The authors wrote about the coddling that has been going on at our universities for at least a decade now. One insight that I found especially powerful was what they called the untruth of fragility: “What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker.” This seems to be a common modern belief, turning the old but true adage “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” on its head. As Lukianoff and Haidt write, however, “Human beings need physical and mental challenges and stressors or we deteriorate.” In other words, parents and teachers/professors should stop trying to shield their kids and students from all conflict and disagreement of various kinds; they are going to experience it anyway, so why not help them learn how to handle it instead? I have written about this more here and related it to churches as well: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2021/10/06/coddling-in-american-universities-and-churches/

I have two grown kids who both had good university experiences, including never having had classes canceled following elections or for any other spurious reasons that I’m aware of. If my son or daughter were now attending a university where any classes were canceled last week because of the election results, I would most definitely contact the president’s office at said university to let them know what I thought. Depending on the specifics, I might even request a partial tuition refund. (Yes, we helped our kids with a portion of their tuition, room, and board.)

In the end, coddling our young adults, whether done by parents or universities, does no good and in fact harms them, contrary to popular belief. Let’s give appropriate levels of protection, but not overprotection, to those we love and teach.

What Is Your Greatest Fear?

Since tomorrow is Halloween, a strange holiday which revolves around fear, I thought this would be a good time to write about a survey I came across a few months ago. Maria Stenvinkel, co-founder of Fearless Minds, gives us a list of the greatest fears of 65 people from 18 different countries. What distinguishes this list from others is that the responses are very personal and thoughtful. For example, no one responded with “climate change” or “terrorism,” which might surprise some of our cultural elites. Neither did anyone respond with a phobia of any kind, which surprised me somewhat. If you’re interested in the full list, click here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-your-greatest-fear-life-65-brave-answers-from-18-stenvinkel/ (I’m not sure if you need a linkedin account to access it.)

As I analyzed the list, I put the fears into categories. (If you do this yourself, your numbers and the names of your categories may differ somewhat from mine.) The two largest categories, tied for 11 responses each, were Fear of Being Alone/Lonely/No Intimacy and Failure/Failing/Not Being Good Enough. In regard to the first category, Saray (Spain) responded, “My deepest fear is being alone without family or friends. I can’t understand how people can love me.” Katie (London) wrote, “Lack of intimacy with life and people. And lack of effective and valuable contribution to society.” (This is actually two different fears, but Katie wrote “lack of intimacy” first.)

In regard to the other top category, Fear of Failure, Kate (Australia) responded, “Being a failure and disappointment…to both others and myself.” Sara (USA) wrote simply, “My biggest fear is not being good enough.”

Interestingly, one category that had more responses than I expected (5) was Fear of No Purpose/Missing out on Purpose. Danielle (USA) developed her thoughts in some detail: “My greatest fear would be missing out on my purpose here on earth. Whether it’s because I wasn’t motivated enough to pursue dreams, or distracted with life in general, I know I have a purpose that I am not yet serving.” Luciana (Portugal) responded, “To go through life without leaving a positive mark.”

One category that had fewer responses than I expected was Fear of Death (4), whether of self or others. However, of the seven comments on the article, two of them also said fear of death. Lena (Sweden) wrote, “Death, that I or someone in my family will die (to lose control over the most important thing we have–-life).” Sometimes there is an overlap between categories; Anne (India) responded, “My greatest fear is that I will die alone.”

One category that I suppose some people would expect to see more of was Fear of Not Having Enough Money/Finances (3). Laura (Italy) wrote, “My greatest fear is that I won’t have enough money to support myself (and retire eventually).”

As I read through the responses, I had to ask myself, “What is my greatest fear?” It used to be fear of stinging insects, which is much less now. Then it was colon cancer (although no one in my family has ever had cancer of any kind). However, I have a colonoscopy every few years, including this year, and I’m “clear.” One thing I discovered over the past year in two different national parks (Yosemite and Glacier) is that I have some vertigo that I didn’t use to have. When I was driving on mountain roads that had a very steep drop-off on one side, my hands got clammy; as long as I just focused on the road, I was OK.

Even though there were only four “fear of death” responses in Stenvinkel’s survey, I want to focus on this fear because although it is often not voiced, I believe that it drives many decisions, including those related to prolonging life as long as possible. There is an elderly brother in my church who I have enjoyed getting to know over the past year. He told my wife and me a story about his dad, who was kidnapped several decades ago and initially thrown in the trunk; a bit later, he was taken out of the trunk and forced to drive the vehicle. (A very stupid decision by the kidnapper, if you ask me.) As the kidnapper gave directions, the driver/kidnappee first sped up and started to drive a bit erratically. The kidnapper, of course, was scared and shouted threats, which the driver ignored. Eventually, he came to a place in the road with a ditch, so he slowed down, opened the car door, and jumped out. It was dark, and he was able to run away; the kidnapper was occupied with the still-moving car!

I absolutely love this story! Before hearing it, I had thought more than once about what I would do in that situation. (Yeah, I know, my mind goes to strange places sometimes.) I’m not sure yet about jumping out of the vehicle, but I would most definitely not follow the kidnapper’s directions. I would definitely drive erratically and probably deliberately crash into something (at a low speed), or at least drive off the road. I don’t have a death wish, but I figure that whatever would happen to me couldn’t be worse than what the kidnapper might do. The kidnapper, of course, assumes that the kidnappee will value his or her survival above all else.

There are two verses I love in Hebrews 2 (verses 14-15) that apply to the fear of death: “Since the children have flesh and blood, he [Jesus] too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” Notice especially that last part, verse 15: “and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” For those of us who know the Lord, we need have no fear of death.

There is a contemporary Christian song by Shane & Shane that I love called “You’ve Already Won.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJWc4rP-D8c I especially love the lyrics in this part of the song:

I know how the story ends
We will be with You again
You’re my Savior my defense
No more fear in life or death
I know how this story ends

As usual, I’m getting teary while I’m listening to it. Here’s a link to another closely-related song that I love: “Battle Belongs” by Phil Wickham: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=johgSkNj3-A

Maybe you have some degree of fear about the election next week; if so, you might be interested in a post I wrote four years ago the morning after that presidential election: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2020/11/04/god-is-in-control/

If you are reading this and you’re not a Christian, you can live without fear if you put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ. This is not to say that you will never be afraid, but that He will enable you to overcome your fears.