Resurrection Body Scars?

The question in the title is one that I had never thought of before. It came to my attention because of a book that a brother in Christ gave my wife and me a while back called Being God’s Image by Carmen Joy Imes. Her thesis is not simply that we are made in God’s image, but that we are God’s image. When I began reading the book, I didn’t know if that distinction would make much of a difference in the inferences and conclusions she would make; however, it didn’t take long to discover that it did.

One inference she makes–although she refers to it as a speculation–is that in heaven, our resurrection bodies will retain the scars that our earthly bodies had because Jesus’ resurrection body retains scars from His crucifixion. They (her scars) “are, after all, part of my humanity.” As I continued to read, however, she didn’t do much to nuance her speculation with examples, except for scars from her own C-section, a birthmark removal, and a slash on her toe. I agree with others who have said that some scars can be beautiful because they are a kind of victory of health over injury. I was wondering, however, about those who have deformities: skin damage caused by severe burns, for example. I wondered about those physical scars which may be less immediately obvious, such as blindness and deafness. I thought about paraplegics, like Joni Eareckson Tada. I thought about former drug addicts who still bear the evidence of that former addiction on their arms. And what about the scars of those who have suffered severe physical abuse?

I thought about the fact that I have been blind from birth in one eye; when I was a child, it bothered me somewhat because it marked me as “different” even though no one ever made fun of me for it. In fact, over the years, my current ocularist has done such an incredible job of carefully fashioning my prosthesis and keeping it polished that people have expressed surprise when I have mentioned that I have one; they can’t tell the difference between my two eyes. And I have been joking with my wife and kids about it for years! (Phrases like “keep an eye on it.”) However, regarding my resurrection body, I have always assumed that I will have binocular vision.

When I think about resurrection bodies, I have also pondered mental disabilities. When I think about my sister who was mentally handicapped in this life, I enjoy imagining her in heaven, probably singing and dancing as she liked to do here! However, I do not believe that she has her limiting mental handicap anymore. My daughter, who’s a believer, has autism; although she’s rather high-functioning, will she still be autistic in heaven? I don’t believe so. I believe my sister and daughter will retain their unique personalities, but not their mental disabilities.

Earlier, I mentioned physical abuse; would Imes say that believers will retain the emotional scars from that abuse in heaven? Probably not, but why then would the Lord give them resurrection bodies retaining any physical scars resulting from that abuse?

What does the Bible say regarding this matter of resurrection body scars? Ephesians 5:27 tells us, “and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” While this verse clearly, and primarily, refers to the fact that we will be sinless in heaven, “without blemish” is also a reference to the Old Testament animal sacrifices that the Israelites were required to make. This is an indication that our resurrection bodies will also be without blemish.

Imes makes the assumption that because of the scars on Jesus’ resurrection body, we will also retain our scars on our resurrection bodies. However, let’s look at a couple differences between Jesus and us. First of all, Jesus was both fully human and fully God, except that He never sinned. He bore our sin to save us, and His scars are both a proof and a reminder of what He did for us. In John 20:27, we read, “Then he [Jesus] said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.'” The next verse: “Thomas said to him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” Jesus’ scars were proof that He was the same man Who had been crucified more than a week before. As others have written, they will be a reminder to all believers for eternity of His sacrifice, which is our salvation.

Another difference between Jesus and us in relation to our scars becomes clear when you think about it: His body was in the grave for a mere three days; our current bodies, in contrast, will have been in the grave for a lot longer than that! (Except for those who die shortly before His return.) Think about Adam, for example, the first man; his body has been in the earth for thousands of years. In Genesis 3:19, the Lord tells Adam, “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” Ecclesiastes 3:20 reminds us of the same thing: “All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.” Does it make sense for the Lord to recreate our resurrection bodies with the scars that our original earthly bodies (which will be dust by then) had? I think not.

1 Corinthians 15:51-54 gives us a glorious picture: “Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed – in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.  When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.'” Our resurrection bodies will be immortal; those of us who know the Lord will live forever–without scars!–with Him! If you don’t know and love Him yet, I invite you to accept Jesus as your Savior; you will discover the kind of peace and joy that only He can give.

He’s Alive

In the mid-1980s, when I was a young believer, I heard a song called “He’s Alive” by Don Francisco. This song tells the story of Easter morning from the viewpoint of Peter, and as I drank in the story through the song, I cried and cried. Throughout my years as an ESL teacher (of adults), I sometimes played this song for my students, and some of them cried as well; regardless of their emotional response, they were very attentive, taking it all in. What is it about this song that is so powerful? Listen to it for yourself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWD-VbJIWEw The lyrics are in the video, but I’m also printing them here; there are some slight differences in wording for accuracy. As you listen, imagine that you were Peter on Easter morning.

The gates and doors were barred and all the windows fastened down
I spent the night in sleeplessness and rose at every sound
Half in hopeless sorrow and half in fear, the day
Would find the soldiers breaking through to drag us all away

Just before the sunrise, I heard something at the wall
The gate began to rattle, and a voice began to call
Hurried to the window, looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches and the sound of soldiers’ feet

There was no one there but Mary, so I went down to let her in
John stood there beside me as she told us where she’d been
She said, “They’ve moved him in the night and none of us knows where
The stone’s been rolled away, and now his body isn’t there”

We both ran toward the garden, then John ran on ahead
We found the stone and the empty tomb just the way that Mary said
But the winding sheet they wrapped him in was just an empty shell
And how or where they’d taken him was more than I could tell

Something strange had happened there, just what I did not know
John believed a miracle, but I just turned to go
Circumstance and speculation couldn’t lift me very high
‘Cause I’d seen them crucify Him, and then I saw Him die

Back inside the house again, the guilt and anguish came
Everything I’d promised Him just added to my shame
When at last it came to choices, I denied I knew His name
And even if He was alive, it wouldn’t be the same

But suddenly the air was filled with strange and sweet perfume
Light that came from everywhere drove shadows from the room
Jesus stood before me with His arms held open wide
I fell down on my knees and just clung to Him and cried

He raised me to my feet and as I looked into His eyes
Love was shining out from Him like sunlight from the skies
Guilt and my confusion disappeared in sweet release
And every fear I’d ever had just melted into peace

He’s alive, He’s alive, He’s alive, and I’m forgiven
Heaven’s gates are open wide
(Repeat last two lines)

I can feel the fear at the beginning of the song as Peter and Jesus’ other followers are in hiding in a locked house, afraid that the Roman soldiers are coming to take them away. Peter hears the rattling gate and a voice, but it’s Mary, who tells him that Jesus’ body is gone. Peter and John run to the tomb and confirm what Mary had said. John believes a miracle has happened, but Peter, in large part because of his denial (3X) of Jesus after He’d been arrested, is weighed down by confusion, guilt, and anguish. Then back inside the house, Jesus appears to Peter in a bright light; Peter runs to Him and clings to Him. Jesus raises Peter to his feet, and when Peter looks into His eyes, he sees Jesus’ love and forgiveness.

If you read John 20:1-9, you will see that Don Francisco has included many of the details from that passage in this song. It is not recorded in Scripture that Jesus appeared to only Peter as described in the climax of this song, yet we can imagine that it could have happened.

On the most fundamental level, this song has been very powerful to me because it’s all about Jesus’ forgiveness–of Peter and everyone else who has ever put their trust in Him. And Jesus’ resurrection is proof that He is Who He claims to be: the Son of God, the Savior, the Messiah.

If you are already a believer, may you experience Jesus’ love and forgiveness in a special way during this Holy Week. If you have never put your faith and trust in Jesus, I pray that you will investigate more about Him.

If you’re interested in reading about Palm Sunday and Good Friday, especially in relation to understanding the shouts of the crowds on those two days, you can read something I wrote here: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2022/04/07/give-us-barabbas/ If you’re interested in reading about evidence for Jesus’ resurrection, click here: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2021/03/24/evidence-for-the-resurrection/

Regardless of whether you have already put your faith in Jesus or not, may you have a very blessed Good Friday/Easter weekend!

Do You Regret Having Kids?

Earlier this week, influencer Chappell Roan sparked a firestorm when she commented, “All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I don’t know anyone, I actually don’t know anyone who’s happy and has children, at this age [under 6]. I have not met anyone who’s happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who’s slept.” She joked that she doesn’t know why her parents had kids; she’s 27 and has three younger siblings. (Are you thankful, Chappell Roan, that your parents had you?!)

Roan’s comment seems to imply that at least some of her friends regret having kids, which prompted me to investigate the main reasons that some parents have this regret. An article by Julia Pugachevsky on businessinsider.com highlighted six common reasons why people regret having kids, even if they had really wanted them in the first place.

1. Loss of independence. This has a lot to do with the loss of freedom.

2. The cost of childcare. The average annual cost of childcare is around $11,000. Here I would add the cost of raising a child for those of us who don’t put our kids in daycare.

3. Not having a good relationship with the other parent. This needs no explanation.

4. Experiencing postpartum depression. I found it interesting that this can also apply to men.

5. The timing. This usually has to do with having kids when you’re “too young.”

6. Fear of the future. Another way of expressing this is uncertainty about the future.

I would add at least one other prominent reason:

7. Ungrateful, unhelpful, complaining, demanding kids. I will give examples in a bit.

I also looked at other websites and found plenty of specific examples of people who had regrets about having children. In August of 2021, Amatullah Shaw posted an article on buzzfeed.com about 15 parents who regret having kids. https://www.buzzfeed.com/amatullahshaw/parents-are-sharing-regret

  • Toomanykidsnotenoughtime (a mother) says, “There are times that I long for a life without kids to go back to the life I had before, where things felt simpler.” This is a combination of reasons 1 and 5 (above); she decided to have kids shortly after graduating from college. In addition, one of her kids has a disability.
  • Shortp (a mother) says, “I often regret having him because we are poor, in massive crippling debt, and living with an inconsiderate family member.” She also says, “Lately he is mean and tells me he hates me when I tell him no.” The first part includes the expense of raising a child (Reason 2); the second part highlights reason 7.
  • Thedeleted73 (a father) says, “The relationship with my daughter is fine, but my son (15) has become a bully and a liar who wants nothing to do with me.” (Reason 7) Also, “If you’re going to have kids, do it with someone you love and expect to grow old with.” (Reason 3)
  • Anonymous (a mother) says, “Having a toddler has tested my patience like nothing else, and I struggle with my anger. I feel like having a child was the worst decision I ever made. I had a truly fulfilling life before, traveling the world and working in a job I loved that tested me intellectually every day.” (Reason 1)
  • Irishcream412 sometimes regrets bringing her/his child into the world because people are awful to each other as well as concerns about resource depletion and pollution. (Reason 6)
  • Anonymous says, “[I] love my kids but don’t like them as people. I made them but can’t wait for them to leave. So messed up.” (Reason 7)

However, there are some people who regret not having kids. Hannah Loewentheil on buzzfeed.com (Sept. 26, 2024) posted an article about whether parents regret having–or not having–children. https://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahloewentheil/regrets-about-parenthood I will focus primarily on two groups of people: those who regret not having had kids and those who at a younger age were adamant about not having kids, but then changed their minds:

  • Anjali L. shares how she had never wanted kids. However, “My son is a wonderful little boy who has changed me. He is so sweet even when I am impatient, forcing me to change. I fell more in love with my husband when I saw what a loving father he is to him.” She found that she loved her son–as well as what sounds like a great husband and father!
  • Rodney T. says, “Now, at 61, for the first time in my life, I think about what will happen when I die. It makes me sad to think that not too long afterward, I’ll probably just be a vague memory for a few people. All the ‘stuff’ I’ve accumulated all these years will be in the landfill or Goodwill, and all this was just a waste. I think about how much I missed being revered as Dad.” I find this insightful, but very sad.
  • Stayce also says something very poignant: “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. I will never have a child who I will see get married, and I’ll never have grandchildren. That breaks my heart.”
  • AT S. says, “I often worry about living a lonesome, empty life, still single now and without any family to call my own. Being an aunt and a teacher is not the same as having had my children in this life. I suppose? The moment has passed me by, and I have remorsefully found myself in utter regret.”
  • Donna M. knew “for sure” that she didn’t want to have children; however, she did, and now she says, “Today, when I look at my daughter, my sweet Kira, I can’t imagine my life without her. I am so glad I changed my mind.”

It’s clear that people can have regrets either for having kids–or for not having kids. For myself, even as a young boy, I looked forward to being married and having kids; I think a lot of this had to do with my parents’ great relationship, although I didn’t understand that until I became an adult. I had heard over and over that children were a gift from the Lord, so even as an unsaved boy, I understood Psalm 127:3: “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.“ My wife and I have two of those gifts, now both adults. At times, they have driven me crazy! I have been angry, exasperated, and confused at times, but regardless, I have loved them.

I hear a lot of people say, “I just want my kids to be happy.” What I want above all is to see my kids walking with the Lord–and thankfully, they are. That doesn’t mean they’re perfect or always easy to interact with, however! I have written before about my daughter, who has presented special challenges to my wife and me because she is on the autism spectrum (high-functioning); you can read about her here: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2023/07/13/adventures-in-autism/ We don’t understand why the Lord made her this way, but with His help, we have learned over the years how to love her better, however imperfectly; additionally, the church that we are a part of has been very loving to her. She will be taking a big step of independence soon, with her own apartment just a few miles away from us, and she is excited about that. Regarding my son: I couldn’t be happier that he has become a student of the Word and a Bible-study leader at his church.

As I was doing research for this post, one negative that came up more than once was having a spouse who is either not involved, or involved negatively, in the raising of the kids. In contrast, I have been blessed with a great wife, and my kids have been blessed with a great mother. One thing we like to do when our son comes home for a visit is to reminisce while at the same time creating new memories. If you have kids, regardless of their (and your!) current age, my prayer for you is that you will also create special memories that will last a lifetime. If you are married but don’t want to have kids now, that may change some day. And if you are single and want to stay that way, without kids, perhaps 1 Corinthians 7:8 applies to you: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” Regardless, if you know the Lord, may you continue to seek His will for your life.

Enjoying Hiking at Any Age

My wife has accounts on a couple of national park forums. First of all, she loves looking at photos, whether from places we’ve been or places we haven’t (yet). Second, there are plenty of people who are seeking advice; these tend to be those who are planning to visit a given national park for the first time. My wife enjoys telling such people about some of our favorite places to visit as well as the best times to do so. She has also gotten advice about places we haven’t found yet.

Some of the most interesting posts that my wife has told me about are those in which the poster is a parent who is planning to take their teen(s) hiking–and perhaps camping–but the teens have little or no interest in doing so. One mom, for example, wrote excitedly about how she was planning a trip for her family, including hiking at a national park they had never been to; this was especially to celebrate her daughter’s birthday. However, she admitted that her daughter didn’t enjoy hiking. Another mom wrote that she was planning a rather major vacation to the other side of the country–but neither her husband nor her son had much interest in hiking, which is something she wanted to do.

When I have talked to people about some of our favorite places to hike, it usually doesn’t take long to figure out whether this is a topic they’re interested in or not. For some, their vision of hiking is something long, laborious, and tiring–and possibly dangerous; even just driving there in the first place can be time-consuming, which I don’t deny. Some have the idea that hiking means overnight backpacking in the wilderness with no restrooms and a lot of discomfort. Some have said they would like to, but they have teens who have no interest in doing so; others have said their kids are “too young.”

I grew up in a family that went camping and hiking almost every summer; my wife grew up in a family that never did, although thankfully, she had other opportunities for hiking with others. Interestingly, when our kids were very young, my wife was the one who wanted us to take them not just hiking, but camping. I thought it would be a lot of work, especially since our daughter was not completely potty-trained yet. However, she coaxed me into a one-night tent-camping experience about an hour away. It was OK except for my sore back, so we bought a large foam camping pad for our next time, which happened a year later and was for two nights. In contrast to the year before, it was very cold and rainy–and by the time we left for home two days later, it was hailing. To top it off, there were a lot of mosquitoes, and after our first night, when I took our three-year-old daughter out into the sunlight, she started crying. In spite of all the discomforts, my son (six at the time) still says that was his favorite camping experience! A lot of that had to do with the fact that we were camping with two families (including my sister’s) who had a lot of experience. They were able, for example, to make campfires in spite of the rain.

Over the following 13 summers, we camped–and hiked–in almost every one of them, in various parks in various states. Over time, of course, we became more experienced, and we learned various things to make it more enjoyable. One non-negotiable: we always camped at a campground so that we would have easy access to restrooms and showers. Another non-negotiable, unless they weren’t allowed, was campfires. Some of our trips were enhanced by taking other families with us, often ones that had never done it before. We also learned the importance of not always “finishing” a given hike, depending on the ages of our kids and the experience, or lack thereof, of others that we had with us.

The summer before our son started college was the last time we camped. (My wife and I were starting to feel old!) The following summer, he and two of his buddies did it on their own; that was when I knew he had made camping, and especially hiking, part of his life.

I realize tent-camping is not for everyone, but I think hiking can be–even if you have grumbling teens who have never done it! Here are a few suggestions if you have never been hiking:

  • Plan where and how far you’re going to hike–and remember that it’s usually a round trip! Consider not necessarily “finishing” a hike, depending on the people you have with you.
  • Have a “payoff,” also known as the “wow factor.” Almost everyone, for example, enjoys a waterfall; I enjoy any water, whether it’s a waterfall, a river, a stream, or the ocean–not just the sight, but the sound. Awesome scenic lookouts are also a major plus. “Maximum ratio of beauty to effort” is the way my math-teaching wife puts it.
  • Seeing animals in their natural habitat is another major payoff. It always gives me a thrill when I see them while hiking; the three bull moose on a trail at Glacier NP in Montana come to mind. Sometimes we make a special trip primarily to see animals; the elephant seals at Piedras Blancas (CA coast) come to mind.
  • Encourage putting away phones; this may save someone’s life (!) as well as enhance enjoyment of natural beauty. Besides, in some places, there’s no or intermittent cell reception.
  • Stop often enough, especially for snacking, and take plenty of water.

I have met many people who have enjoyed being in nature just for the beauty of it, in and of itself. For me, it has been an opportunity to give praise to the Lord God, the Creator of it all; in fact, some of my best times of worship have been in nature. Psalm 104 is a marvelous chapter in the Bible which gives a lot of specifics about His creation. Here are just a few in verses 10-13: “He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains. They give water to all the beasts of the field; the wild donkeys quench their thirst. The birds of the sky nest by the waters; they sing among the branches. He waters the mountains from his upper chambers; the land is satisfied by the fruit of his work.”

If you have young kids (or grandkids!), I can almost guarantee their delight in being out in nature. And even if you have teens who don’t seem interested, they may grudgingly admit later that they enjoyed it, especially if you include the “wow factor.” And the same can be true for you even if you don’t consider yourself a “hiker.”

The Favored Gender?

Two of my closest friends both have a young son who is in the process of transitioning to become a woman; I also have an elderly friend who I recently found out is in that same process. In contrast, I don’t know any women who are transitioning to become men. These people, along with things I’ve read, caused me to wonder whether there are significantly more MTFs (males transitioning to females) than FTMs (females transitioning to males), at least in the U.S.

Depending on your source, the percentages and ratios of MTFs and FTMs differ, but what is consistent is that MTFs outnumber FTMs, in many cases significantly. The UCLA School of Law Williams Institute has reported that of the 1.3 million American adults who identify as transgender, 38.5% are transgender women, while 35.9% are transgender men; the remaining 25.6% identify as “gender nonconforming.” The Kaiser Family Foundation reports that 22% of trans adults identify as trans women and 12% identify as trans men; the majority of trans adults identify as “nonbinary.” The UCSF Dept. of Medicine estimates that worldwide, there are at least three times as many trans women as trans men. In summary, ways of counting and estimating differ, but regardless, it seems clear that trans women significantly outnumber trans men, not just in the U.S., but worldwide.

One of the friends that I mentioned earlier told me that his son now identifies as a woman because women are the “favored gender.” Since my wife and I are both retired professors, this comment caused me to investigate college/university scholarships. Not to my surprise, there are very significantly more scholarships designated only for women than only for men. Some sources estimate that the ratio is as high as 11:1, meaning that if you’re a woman, your potential sources of financial aid greatly outnumber those of a man. I find this troubling, particularly given that undergraduate female students outnumber undergraduate male students 58% to 42%. The disparity is even greater at graduate student levels, where women outnumber men 61% to 39%. It seems to me that at this point in our history, we ought to be providing an increasing number of incentives for men to attend college/university. It also seems to me that these stats are likely to incentivize a lot more people to “identify” as women than as men. Thankfully, some universities have been pressured into eliminating some women-only scholarships, but a large disparity remains.

One area in which a trans woman is more “favored” than a trans man is in sports. Trans women have been “besting” biological women for years now; in fact, this month marks three years since Lia Thomas, a trans woman who had been mediocre in men’s swimming, tied Riley Gaines for fifth place in the women’s 200-meter NCAA swimming championships. Sometimes, it’s not just a matter of winning or not, as volleyball player Payton McNabb found out in 2022; she was permanently injured when a trans woman on the opposing team spiked the ball into her head. In a related story, last year six women volleyball teams forfeited their tournament games against San Jose State University because of the presence of a trans woman named Blaire Fleming on that team. Ultimately, and thankfully, they lost the Mountain West tournament final to Colorado State.

These examples from the world of women’s sports illustrate that trans women have a natural advantage over biological women. I think that almost everyone, whether they admit it or not, understand the inherent unfairness in allowing trans women to compete in women’s sports. Thankfully, last month the NCAA changed its policy, limiting competition in women’s sports to student-athletes assigned female at birth only. This will also prevent students who identify as women but were assigned male at birth from using women’s restrooms. Over time, this policy should also spread to restrooms in other public buildings.

Socially, it’s not hard to see how it could be seen as more beneficial to be a woman than a man. Have you ever heard of “toxic femininity?” Me, neither. “Toxic masculinity,” on the other hand, has become almost a catchphrase, at least in some segments of American society. WebMD is careful to say that the term “toxic masculinity” isn’t meant to imply that the idea of masculinity in itself is inherently bad; however, it’s not hard to see how people could easily make that inference, regardless of the motivation for doing so. Traditionally, boys were raised to understand that they should respect and protect girls and women, but that is not something that contemporary American society seems to value.

Personally, I’m thankful to be a man, for multiple reasons. One that has come into focus over the past couple years is the ability to do physical labor, such as carrying things, setting up tables, and the like. Although my church has plenty of godly men, a number of them have back injuries or other physical limitations that prevent them from helping more in that way. Since I don’t, that is an area where I can easily help–and I enjoy it!

What does the Bible have to say about all of this? First of all, men and women are equal in God’s sight; we see this, for example, in Galatians 3:28, which says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” In other words, salvation is available to anyone who puts their faith and trust in Jesus. At the same time, there are different roles for men and women in some different contexts, most obviously marriage; Ephesians 5:22-23 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” There is a lot of misunderstanding of submission, but my wife has said that she thinks most Christian women will willingly submit to a man who exhibits servant leadership. I should add that at my church, couples joke about the husband being the head, but the wife being the neck!

Regarding transgenderism: Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created him.” There are two genders, and God never, ever makes a mistake; you are what God made you, as King David tells us in Psalm 139: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

Whether you are male or female, if you are reading this and do not yet know the Lord, I pray that you will turn to Him in saving faith today.