A Tale of Two Christmas-Light Extravaganzas

Christmas season is truly my favorite time of year, for multiple reasons. One of them is Christmas-light displays. My wife and I sometimes walk around our neighborhood at night, enjoying our neighbors’ displays; we also have a modest display of our own.

In another part of our city, there is an area known as Christmas Tree Lane. Although Christmas-light displays are not exactly mandated, it is understood that everyone living there is expected to put up lights, at a minimum, and perhaps additions like a giant corpulent Santa with reindeer. Some of the residents add various kinds of moving parts, such as elves at work. Many add various kinds of sound effects, including Christmas music, some of which is secular (but fun!) as well as some hymns. Some residents include large word displays; again, some of them are secular or neutral, while others are explicitly Christian, such as “Jesus is born!” At a nearby park, you can have free hot cocoa as well. 

Walking through Christmas Tree Lane is a wonderful experience, no matter your age. Part of my enjoyment of it is hearing young kids’ voices, most of them oohing and aahing in wonder. All in all, it is an experience that takes me out of the ordinariness of everyday living; it is, in fact, often worshipful.

Last year, a large church in our community held their own Christmas-light extravaganza. My wife, daughter, and I decided to take a drive-through (the only way possible) “tour.” Shortly after we entered the church property, a woman came along the line of cars, collecting $5 from each driver. As we inched along in winding fashion, there were many trees decorated with creative light displays. We had also been instructed to tune to a designated FM frequency for a combination of narration and Christmas music. One thing I noticed early on was that most of the songs were secular; in the end, I counted seven secular songs and two Christian ones. As for the narration: there were several trivia questions, such as “Which country do candy canes come from?” We were also told that church services there were “not boring, but fun!” 

Afterwards, as we reflected on the experience, my wife commented that overall, it was not a very worshipful experience; that summed it up well. I had thought of it as an opportunity for that church to tell people something about the true meaning of Christmas, but frankly, there was precious little of that.  I decided to call that church a couple of days ago to see if they were doing the same thing this year. The secretary told me that this year, they had decided to do an indoor “Christmas village” event instead. I was glad to hear that, and later, I looked online for more info. Among other things, the event includes free cocoa, an indoor light show, ornament making, and cookie decorating. Thankfully, there will also be “a very special Christmas message.” 

I don’t know if that church decided to do something different this year based on feedback from last year, but this year has the potential to be something better. Besides the aspects I have already alluded to from last year’s event (largely-secular music and narration), I think one of the intangible reasons for this year’s potential–at least from my viewpoint–is the opportunity to actually interact with people, unlike at last year’s event. That one reminded me of the strong tendency of people in my community to use the drive-through lane, especially at restaurants, but also at places like Starbucks, which I had thought of as the quintessential place to walk in and enjoy coffee–maybe even talking with people in the process! COVID exacerbated this drive-through tendency, and it is obvious that some people have decided to stick with it. I also realized that in contrast, walking through (rather than driving through) Christmas Tree Lane is one of the things I love about it.

As you enjoy the many aspects of this Christmas season–including Christmas lights!–with your loved ones, may you above all experience the peace and joy that only Jesus Christ can give! 

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If you’re interested in previous posts related to Christmas, check these out:

https://keithpetersenblog.com/a-christmas-quiz/ (This is a Christmas quiz.)

https://keithpetersenblog.com/unpacking-the-theology-of-a-christmas-hymn/ (This is about the incredible theology packed into the hymn “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”)

https://keithpetersenblog.com/the-foolishness-of-christmas/ (This is about how the Christmas message is foolishness to non-Christians, but the saving power of God to Christians.)

One Way

Back in 1978 when I started college and was not yet a Christian, I saw a poster that looked a lot like this: https://www.redbubble.com/i/poster/JESUS-ONE-WAY-by-CalliopeSt/33625995.E40HW?ref_list_id=srp_results&ref_list_index=4 You’ll notice the “One Way” sign pointing up, along with the first six words of John 14:6. I thought of this recently because of a conversation between my wife and a friend. More on that in a bit.

The full verse (John 14:6) reads like this: “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” Over the years, I have heard (and read) many people question this; nowadays, some say things like, “That’s so exclusive!” Yes, it is, and it is particularly offensive to some in our era of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion). I’ve also heard something like this more than once: “But that’s so narrow-minded!” Here’s what Jesus says in Matthew 7:13-14: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” There is a sense in which Christians are “narrow-minded” because yes, we believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven. We also understand that this way, or road, is not an easy one, particularly in the face of a culture that is increasingly hostile to Christianity.

While I would expect atheists, agnostics, and adherents of other religions not to accept what the Bible says, I find it very disturbing that 57% of American evangelicals responded “Yes” to the following question: “Are there many religions that lead to eternal life?” This was back in 2008, so my guess is that the percentage is now even higher. You can read more about this research here: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2020/05/07/how-many-christians-are-there-in-the-united-states/

At the outset, I referred to a recent conversation between my wife and a friend of hers. This friend, while not a regular churchgoer, had said and done things over the years that caused those who knew her to assume that she was a Christian. However, she recently posted something to the effect that we can please God on our own, without Jesus to save us. When my wife tried to engage her in conversation about it, she asked my wife not to comment on her “philosophical” posts, saying that my wife already knows what she believes and feels.

One thing that struck me about this exchange was my wife’s friend’s use of the word “philosophical,” rather than “religious,” for example. Another thing that struck me was her also asking my wife not to comment on her public posts of that nature; I would say that if you don’t want someone (anyone?) to comment on your thoughts, then don’t make them public! My wife, of course, will no longer do so. On a deeper level, after talking about this with her, my guess is that her friend’s belief has a lot to do with the grief that she has experienced over the years. I can easily understand that when a loved one who is not a Christian dies, there is a strong sense of hopelessness regarding that person. I can also understand how that could lead to wondering if there is another way to heaven, independently of Jesus. Regardless of exactly what is going on in her heart and mind, for the moment, all that my wife and I (and some other believers) can do is pray for her; right now, she is on a much broader but very dangerous road.

Christmas is less than a month away. I am very much looking forward to my family being together soon and everything that goes with it, including wonderful meals, laughter, game-playing, time out in the Lord’s creation, Christmas lights, presents, and much more! I suppose some may find it a bit strange that I am writing a post like this now. If so, I would remind all of us (certainly including myself) that in spite of what our culture may try to tell us, Christmas is all about Jesus Christ. He is truly the One Way, the Only Way, to heaven. If you are not yet a believer, my prayer is that this will be the season you come to know Him as your Savior and Lord.

Deep Waters of the Heart

Imagine yourself at a party with a rather large number of people. You see someone who is walking around talking to everyone, it seems; you see another person who is sipping a drink, standing off to the side and quietly observing, at least initially. The first person is probably an extrovert, while the second is more likely to be an introvert.

It seems that American society looks more favorably on extroverts than introverts; when there are “uncomfortable” silences in a group conversation, for example, which type of person is more likely to fill in the gap? However, I would like to look at this from a different perspective, which has to do with time and number of relationships. An extrovert may be likely to have more relationships than an introvert, but it seems to me that time is an important factor in terms of the development and depth of those relationships.

I have “tested” right down the middle in terms of this dichotomy; however, it’s very clear to me (and my wife) that I’m more of an introvert than an extrovert. In a given period of time, I’m much more energized (albeit sometimes also drained!) by having in-depth conversations with one or two people than I am by having comparatively small talk with six-eight people. As I’ve thought about this, I have been reflecting on various in-depth conversations with different people throughout the years. Here are some examples:

  • I’m having a conversation with a close friend who has gotten divorced; he goes to a depth that I had never imagined, and I will never betray his confidence by telling anyone the specifics. While we don’t necessarily “solve” anything, he is able to get some things out that he needed to. (This has happened with three different men.)
  • I’m having a conversation with a pre-marital couple. (I was part of a church that had a strong pre-marital program at the time.) I have noticed something in the background of the young woman that indicates she had been abused in a previous relationship. I have thought about whether I will ask her about it, and near the end of our time together, I decide to do so. Through tears, she shares something about it, and her fiance (who had known about it) is very supportive. The next day, he thanks me for bringing that out; it had been beneficial for her to share it.
  • I’m having a conversation with another young pre-marital couple. They are conflict-ridden and arguing with each other. At one point, the man looks at me and angrily asks something like, “Are you here just to go over the results of these tests, or can you help us?” I say to his fiancee, “I think he wants you just to listen to him and not always try to problem-solve.” He nods his head. (Whew!)
  • My wife (also an introvert!) and I are talking with a couple; we have gotten to be close friends with them, but they are on the verge of divorce–by the wife’s choice, not the husband’s. She is very well-educated and bubbly (an extrovert!), while he runs his own restaurant and is much quieter (an introvert). Her main complaint is that he doesn’t “understand” her. I ask her to say something to him that expresses a deep feeling, and then I ask him to paraphrase it; what he says doesn’t even come close. She says, “See? Our marriage is over; don’t try to save it.” She divorces him a short time later.
  • When I was teaching (I’m a retired ESL teacher), I would often say something like this to my classes during the first week: “I’m not a psychologist, but if you ever want to talk to me about something personal, let me know.” One day, a student has stayed after class and is telling me about her daughter and son-in-law; the two of them are having a great deal of conflict, and my student has been trying to intervene, but it is only making things worse. As we are talking, a light bulb goes on; she says, “Oh, they need help, but I’m not the one to give it!” I smile and heartily affirm what she has just said.

I trust it’s clear that in the examples I have written about, there is not always a “happy ending.” However, everyone wants to be known and understood, and sometimes when a person is able to express himself or herself, that understanding comes, on both sides. One of my favorite Bible verses, closely related to this, is Proverbs 20:5: “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.”

Please don’t misunderstand me: I’m not down on extroverts or people who just aren’t comfortable having very in-depth conversations; strong feelings often come out, and as in the example of the conflict-ridden couple, sometimes anger can even be directed at you! There is a brother at my church who I know would “test” as an extrovert, but he is also a person who has in-depth conversations with people. And even for extroverts I have known who are less likely to go into great depth, I appreciate them for who they are; among other things, as I alluded to at the outset, they are more likely to make other people feel more comfortable, especially in groups.

The Lord has made each of us unique; regardless of personality type or level of comfort in different social situations, let’s be the kinds of people that others want to be around!

Gen Z in the Workplace

A headline about a young woman bemoaning the fact that she has to work a 9-to-5 job in marketing recently caught my attention. In a TikTok video that has gone viral, Brielle Asero, 21, was in tears as she said, “I want to shower, eat my dinner and go to sleep. I don’t have time or energy to cook my dinner either. Like, I don’t have energy to work out, like that’s out the window. Like, I’m so upset. Nothing to do with my job at all, but just like the 9-to-5 schedule in general is crazy.” This inspired me to investigate Generation Z (also known as Gen Z, meaning those born between 1997 and 2012) behavior and attitudes in the workplace as well as managers’ perceptions of them. I believe this is related to the coddling they have received at universities; you can read more about that coddling here: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2021/10/06/coddling-in-american-universities-and-churches/

Here are some things I discovered while reading several different articles about this topic. The first two bullets are from an article by Dana Wilkie on shrm.org; the next three are from mckinsey.com; the final four are from a New York Post article by Rikki Schlott.

  • About one-third of Gen Zers demand a say over their work schedule. More than one-third say they won’t tolerate being forced to work when they don’t want to or being denied the vacation days they request.
  • In spite of prolific smartphone use, 75% of Gen Zers prefer face-to-face interactions when getting manager feedback, and more than one third prefer to communicate with colleagues face to face.
  • Of all generations, Generation Z is the most likely to be stressed about work and to report poor mental health.
  • Gen Zers are more likely than other generations to work multiple jobs and to be concerned about the stability of their employment. As a result, they are much less likely than other generations to expect to ever own a home.
  • On the other hand, Generation Z is more likely to think the economic future is “brighter” than Generation X and baby boomers; millennials have the “brightest” economic outlook.
  • 65% of managers said they have to fire Gen Z workers more often compared with other generations. In fact, 13% of managers said they have had to fire a Gen Z worker less than one week after their start date.
  • Many managers have reported that Gen Z employees are hard to deal with when it comes to language. One manager named Peter who refuses to give his last name says, “I don’t want to offend anyone or trigger someone. I always have it in the back of my mind that I’m going to get angry one day, and I’m going to get freaking canceled.” In a similar vein, another manager, Matt (also refusing to give his last name) reported that Gen Zers “dominated [workplace] culture with social justice fundamentalism.” Peter added that Gen Z employees had a hard time looking him in the eye during conversations.
  • Alexis McDonnell, a content creator who managed Gen Z employees at a tech company in Dallas, says that distractibility is an issue: “We would be on team calls, and you’d be able to tell that they were on their phones. If we called on them, it was like deer in the headlights, and you could tell that they hadn’t been paying attention.” Another comment regarding phone use comes from an anonymous (another one!) manager, who used the phrase “phone zombies” to refer to Gen Zers during breaks.
  • Inappropriate informality–using a manager’s first name early on, for example–was also reported as a Gen Z problem.

In summary, Gen Z employees are more likely to have a sense of entitlement than other generations; they are more easily offended, at least in terms of their expression of it; they are more easily distracted; and they are more likely to communicate inappropriately in the workplace. In a bizarre twist, some Gen Z subordinates seem to think they have the right to spout their social justice views, while their managers are walking on eggshells around them. All of these negatives make Gen Zers less likely to be long-term employees at a given job. Perhaps this helps explain why Generation Z is much more likely (51%) than other generations (36%) to work independently, which is defined as contract work, freelancing, and gig work.

The following statement (from mckinsey.com) may also shed some light on Gen Zers regarding their behavior in the workplace: “Gen Z respondents report alarming levels of negativity about themselves, their confidence in the future, and their ability to find contentment in American life.” I believe that a lot of this comes from their obsession with social media, which so readily invites comparison with other people. Admittedly, other generations can easily become obsessed with social media as well, but this obsession is very clearly on display with Gen Zers. One positive about this overall negative view that Gen Zers tend to have about themselves is that they are much more likely to seek help; this provides an opportunity for the church to step in.

What does the Bible have to say about our attitude toward work? Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” As believers, this should be our mindset; the Lord knows how we are working, whether our boss does or not. I would hope that Gen Zers who are believers would have that focus.

I am retired now, but I was recently reflecting with my wife about two summers when I was in my early 20s. I worked from 8 to 5 (with breaks) at an azalea nursery, and sometimes, a farming friend of mine would need help in the evening baling hay, so another guy from the nursery and I would head out to the farm. It was exhilarating out there in the field, tossing bales of hay on a wagon and bantering with each other while my friend’s dad drove the tractor at the perfect speed. After we had gathered all of the bales, we’d head to the barn, throw the bales onto a hay “elevator,” and stack them in the haymow. And then to top it all off: we’d head into the farmhouse, where my buddy’s mom would have sloppy joes ready.

I have a hard time understanding the crying 9-to-5 girl that I mentioned at the outset; those days when I was her age and sometimes working 12-hour days are wonderful memories. There are many reasons for this contrast. I think that one prominent reason has to do with relationships, both the ones I had at the nursery and the ones with the guys I baled hay with. Admittedly, the COVID lockdowns had a lot to do with making people feel even more socially isolated, but as I mentioned before, this is where we as the church have the opportunity to step in. There are preteens, teens, and young adults who are hungry for authentic relationships; some of them are already part of our churches, and some are not. And on the most fundamental level of all, they need a relationship with the Lord Himself.

Our Innate Spiritual Condition and Default Destination

Not all individuals and cultures have the same belief about our innate spiritual condition. Some say we are born good; some say bad; some say neutral. A few decades ago, the belief about this didn’t seem to be much in dispute, at least not in American churches. However, that has changed, at least judging by things that I have read and heard over the past 30 years or so. This matter is not academic; there are consequences for what we believe about it.

We will look at what the Bible has to say about our condition, but I want to start by asking you to think about it from experience. For those of you who are parents, think back with me to when your children were babies. My wife and I went to a Third World country to teach English when we were still newlyweds. The following year, our son was born in a city where the conditions were not the most comfortable, at least not by American standards. Our apartment floor was made of wood, and it wasn’t exactly what you would call a very smooth surface; in fact, between some wooden planks, there were small gaps. On the other hand, we had a rug covering a large portion of the floor. When our son began to crawl at nine months, we confined that activity to the carpeted area in the main room. He understood very well that we did not want him to crawl off the carpet, as evidenced by the fact that one day, he crawled up to the edge, looked back at us and smiled, and then literally came back from the edge. We picked him up, hugged him, and told him what a good boy he was! Naturally, he wanted to crawl some more. A bit later, he crawled again to the edge, looked at us and grinned (rather mischievously), and went “over” the edge. My wife quickly picked him up and gave him his first spanking. We wanted to make sure he understood that he needed to obey us!

In that same Third World country, I got into a discussion one day after class with some of my students. They had the belief that children are essentially born neutral, a tabula rasa (clean slate). I posed the following situation to them: Suppose that you have two very young children but only one cookie; what’s going to happen? Most of them started to smile. Then I asked if they thought the kids would share the cookie, and they all started laughing. One of them conceded that the kids would not share it, but that was because they had already been affected (infected?!) by society. I replied that actually, the kids would share if they had been taught or encouraged to do so, especially by example.

I think it has always been true, but especially in our current age, it’s usually not hard to see which kids are being taught to be “good.” Just look around you the next time you’re in a public place with kids around! When parents have the right understanding of their kids’ innate condition, they are better equipped to raise them.

The Bible speaks very clearly to this question of our innate spiritual condition, including in Psalm 51:5: “Surely I [King David] was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” Notice that: sinful even before birth! And here is a portion of Genesis 8:21: “Never again will I [the Lord] curse the ground because of man, for every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood.” Notice “from childhood.” There are plenty of other verses in the Bible that speak to our spiritual condition as well. For example, Romans 3:10-11 says, “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.”

One thing I want to add is this: even though both experience and Scripture tell us what our innate spiritual condition is, I believe that children who die before they are old enough to understand spiritual truth will go to heaven. The Bible gives an example of this; after King David committed adultery and murder, the baby that was born out of that adultery died. Here’s what King David said in 2 Samuel 12:23: “But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” Notice “I will go to him.” In other words, King David would one day join his infant son in heaven. What a comfort to those believers who have lost a young child!

As I mentioned at the outset, I don’t think that the belief about our innate spiritual condition is academic; let me explain. When another believer tells me that a loved one has died, I always express my empathy; I have certainly had my own share of grief over the past three years, especially, having lost three siblings. However, I usually ask if that loved one was a believer. Many times, the answer is a very firm yes; in fact, the believer enjoys talking about evidence for it in that person’s life. Other times, however, I have gotten an answer something like, “Well, I think so; they lived a moral life, worked hard, and went to church occasionally.” I don’t argue with the believer, but my heart sinks; I’m not saying I know where that deceased person will spend eternity, but there is a tendency among some to believe that our default destination is heaven. I had a related experience with someone in my extended family who believed that her husband was a Christian because a few decades ago, he had asked her for prayer in a time of crisis; however, over the ensuing decades, he had often said that he believed Jesus was a good moral teacher, but not the Son of God. One consequence of his wife’s belief (hope?) about him is that she didn’t feel the need to talk to him about the Lord. However, thankfully, someone else did; that man came to saving faith at the age of 91 and is now with the Lord.

Here’s another example of this tendency among some to believe that our default eternal destination is heaven. Several years ago, a brother in Christ told the rest of us in our men’s group about a young guy who had accidentally killed himself while engaging in autoerotic asphyxiation. (I’d rather not try to describe that, but you can google it.) More than one man in our group said something indicating that they thought that young guy was probably now in heaven; I think one reason is because his parents were Christians. Given the strong emotions of some in the room, I remained silent. However, I think that the reaction of some who spoke is another indication of the desire to believe that our default destination is heaven; that young man died while committing a sinful, dangerous act, and there didn’t seem to be anything in particular about his life up to that point indicating he was a Christian. My response would have been, and now is: we don’t know where he is now, so let’s not be so quick to jump to that conclusion. And much more importantly, while our loved ones are still alive, let’s not be hesitant to talk with them about the Lord.

Given that our innate spiritual condition is sinful, it means our default destination is not heaven, but the other place, which people don’t like to talk about: hell. Thanks be to God, when we put our faith and trust in Jesus Christ, our eternal destination changes from hell to heaven. If you have not yet done that, I pray that this will be the day!