Speaking Out on Behalf of K-12 Teachers

“You don’t know how to do Tik Tok. My mom says old people like you should retire.” These words were spoken by a first-grader to his teacher in Ohio; her name is Mrs. Carter, and to make matters even worse, it was at the beginning of her last day as a teacher. She writes (on a FB post), “There was no party. No speech. Just a firm handshake from the new principal, who called me ‘Ma’am’ and looked at his phone halfway through our goodbye.”

Mrs. Carter also writes how she had been screamed at in front of her class–not by students, but by parents. She goes on to share that what kept her going were moments like these: “A child who whispered, ‘You’re like my grandma. I wish I could live with you.’ Another who left a note on my desk: ‘I feel safe here.’ Or the quiet boy who finally looked me in the eye and said, ‘I read it all by myself.'”

Leonard Sax, a practicing physician and psychologist, wrote this in an article on aasa.org after visiting a high school in an affluent neighborhood:

The English teacher was trying to create a more courteous and orderly atmosphere in the classroom. She explained that she would no longer tolerate students interrupting one another or interrupting her.

As she was talking, a boy in the back of the classroom belched loudly, then said, “Oh just SHUT UP.”

“You see, that’s exactly what I’m talking about,” the teacher said. “That was an uncalled-for interruption. That is rude.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” the boy said. “Please shut up.” Other students, girls and boys, giggled.

Such profound disrespect is almost unbelievable to me. Sax goes on to say what many others have said, which is that the popular culture in which kids live today is very different from 60-70 years ago. TV shows like “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Leave It to Beaver” for the most part promoted respect for parents and teachers. There was a strong “alliance,” as Sax says, between teachers and parents. On a personal note: I certainly remember being read the riot act by my father more than once when he got a phone call from my elementary school because of my bad behavior. Sax says that from his perspective, this alliance continued into at least the early 1990s. As I reflect on that decade, I concur that when my kids were in elementary school, starting in 1995 and on into the early 2000s, there was a strong culture of respect at my kids’ school. My wife and I both observed this close up because we volunteered in our kids’ classrooms for a few hours a week. The culture now, as Sax and many others have noted, is very different, especially because of social media; respect for parents and teachers as well as for one another is not something which is encouraged, to put it mildly.

Rebecca Kellum was a freshman majoring in elementary education at the time she wrote an article in 2011 for The Reflector, a student newspaper, about her previous summer’s experience:

“As an intern of children’s ministry at a large church in my hometown, I was in charge of developing lesson plans and teaching several classes of large groups of children, usually those of elementary age, from various daycares. At first, I expected some trouble because of my age and appearance. I did not necessarily look old enough to be a teacher, so I was fully prepared for the children to take my authority less seriously; however, some of my fellow instructors were much older than me, elderly even, and most of the children still showed a significant lack of respect for anything we had to say or ask them to do. Only a handful replied to questions in respectful tones and followed instruction the first time.”

Kellum also wrote that she had recently changed from a chemical engineering major to elementary education and that “I know I’ll be doing something I love and will be instilling values and educating future generations.” I hope she is still doing that.

While I was doing research for this post, I could not find an article that documented the decline in respect by kids for teachers. Admittedly, respect is an intangible, somewhat abstract concept. However, a friend I was talking to said that no one wants to research and write something like that because they don’t want to lose their job. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in that!

I want to return to the second part of the opening quote by the first-grader in Mrs. Carter’s class: “My mom says old people like you should retire.” Notice the first two words: “my mom.” I think that this speaks volumes to the primary problem: kids are not born knowing how to show respect; they have to be taught it, and that begins in the home. This mother clearly had no respect for her son’s teacher; I wonder if her son has any respect for her, the mother.

Leonard Sax, who I quoted earlier, suggests a few simple strategies for parents: “No screens at the dinner table. No earbuds in the car. Make eye contact with the person to whom you’re speaking. Acknowledge requests. Say ‘hello’ when you enter a room, ‘goodbye’ when you leave it, ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’”

Sax’s common-sense suggestions are good. However, on a fundamental level: when my wife and I were young parents, we were in several parenting classes over the years at our church. One concept that really jumped out at us was first-time obedience. (Rebecca Kellum also referred to this; see above.) Simply put, it means making your kids obey the first time you tell them to do something. We implemented that in our parenting, however imperfectly, and were pleased with the results. We also wanted our kids to obey other authority figures, most definitely including their teachers–and at the most fundamental level, the Lord God Himself!

I recall seeing a bumper sticker as a teen (in the 1970s) that said, “Question Authority.” While there is certainly a place for that in our society, I don’t believe it’s something that we want to promote in our elementary-school-age kids, especially; that will not promote respect for teachers–and not for us as parents, either!

If you are raising kids, I hope that you teach them to respect authority, including their teachers. Beyond that, as Mrs. Carter added, “If you see a teacher–past or present–thank them. Not with a mug or an apple. With your voice. Your eyes. Your respect.” Mrs. Carter, I don’t know you, so it’s highly doubtful that you’re reading this, but if you stumble across it, I want to say, “Thank you for your loving faithfulness to all of those kids over the years.” And thank you also to any other past or present K-12 teachers who are reading this. I am a retired college professor of ESL; with very few exceptions, I had plenty of respect from my students. I could not have done what you did or are doing!