I recently came across an article by Juliana Kaplan and Rosalie Chan about millennials (people born between 1981 and 1996) who are currently living alone. For some context, in 1967, the percentage of 18 to 34-year-old Americans living alone was a mere 2.6%, but by 1981 (the year of the first millennials), that percentage had tripled, to 7.8%. Since then, the percentage has oscillated between 7.2% and 8.9%; last year (2023), the figure was 8.8%. I couldn’t find a more recent stat for millennials only, but in 2019, 9% of millennials were living alone, which is almost the same as the 8.8% figure.
The article by Kaplan and Chan focused on nine millennials who are living alone. Here is a key quote: “While their situations vary, they all said that living alone is very much a sacrifice — but one worth making.” Jess Munday, 29, said that she enjoys having space, along with being able to leave it clean or messy, depending on her mood. Aria Velasquez, 32, values privacy and coming home to nothing but “the hum of the fridge.” Julia Mazur, 30, is unique among the nine millennials in that she owns a house. She says that living alone is “empowering;” she likes the ability to move around and to travel.
This quote from social scientist Bella DePaulo gives some insight into millennials’ attitudes about living alone: “Marriage is no longer the marker of adulthood that it once was. Now younger people are more likely to feel like they’re an adult if they’ve had other accomplishments, and sometimes living alone is one of them. Living alone can mean that you can afford to do so, and that’s something to feel proud of.” Along those lines, the thing about the nine millennials that struck me most was that none of them mentioned marriage as a goal. As I was reading what they said about the benefits–having space, privacy, the ability to travel–the word that came to mind was freedom. When they can afford it, many millennials like the freedom that living alone offers and, as DePaulo mentioned, living alone is a kind of accomplishment, even a status symbol.
It is well-known that the average age of first marriage continues to increase. The average age for all men on their wedding day is now 30, compared with 28 for women. The Pew Research Center has reported that millennials tend to have more education than previous generations and that they tend to marry someone with at least their level of education; 75% of married millennials with at least a Bachelor’s degree have a spouse who is also a college graduate. On the other hand, women have higher graduation rates. For the 2021-22 academic year, women earned 58.6% of all Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees; they also earned 57.0% of all doctorates and professional degrees. I suppose you could say that the significantly higher number of women (compared with men) who have college degrees “limits” the number of “available” men to marry. On the other hand, it seems millennial men with at least a Bachelor’s degree have more choice.
As I was researching all of this info about millennials’ living situations, I found myself reflecting on my own life (I’m a “boomer”) in terms of times when I was living alone. First of all, I’m the youngest of eight kids, and I didn’t even have my own room until I was 12. Furthermore, I lived alone for only one summer, about three months, and while I enjoyed the freedom to some degree, I was working 45-55 hours a week, so I didn’t spend a lot of time in my apartment anyway. Other than that summer, before marriage, I was living with either my parents or roommate(s), which seemed very natural to me. Being married was also something that seemed very natural to me; indeed, it was something I looked forward to, and I got married at 28.
One thing that being married–and especially having kids!–usually makes people do is become more responsible. I certainly found that to be the case; elsewhere, I have written about accepting responsibility as a key component of Christian manhood; you can click here for Part One (of two) if you’re interested: https://keithpetersenblog.com/2020/08/26/what-does-christian-manhood-look-like-part-1/ I’m not saying that unmarried millennials are irresponsible, but simply that marriage and kids naturally engenders increased responsibility in people, which I think is a good thing.
There’s an old song by the soft-rock band Bread called “Hooked on You” (1977). (Yes, two posts in a row quoting songs by them; I’m showing my age.) Here are a few lines:
So don’t be feelin’ sorry
For the freedom that I lost
‘Cause I found out what I’m missin’
And I’m glad to pay the cost
For myself, whatever “freedom” I had as a single was something I was more than happy to give up, to a large degree. My guess is that as millennials grow older (the oldest are already 43), many who are now single will find that they want to share their life with a spouse–and children.
To the Remnant 